Instant Message
by lynnmichelle
Summary: Jack receives an instant message from an unknown person. Who's it from and what does Carter have to do with it? Rated T for the mild language that comes from Jack's mouth and the dirty things that sometimes come from his mind! Epilogue Up. COMPLETE.
1. Contact

**Instant Message**

No spoilers. Set anytime before Season 8.

T for mild language since I don't know what words kids know anymore!

Disclaimer – The characters are not mine etc etc but the story is.

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__**Carter** - U there?_

_**O'Neill **-Have you forgotten how to spell Carter? But yes, I'm here._

_**Carter** - Sir, we're instant messaging (IM'ing). It has it's own language otherwise it would take way to long to chat._

_**O'Neill** - Well it's idiotic. Did you actually need something or are you simply demonstrating your new toy?_

_**Carter** - Actually, Sir, I just wanted to know if you were going for lunch soon?_

_**O'Neill** - 5 Mins_

_**Carter** - K. L8r._

Huh? Jack looked at his computer screen and wondered for the hundredth time, what's wrong with picking up the phone? But No! Carter wanted to install Instant Messaging software on SG-1's computers so they could 'communicate' better. He thought that the whole idea was utterly ludicrous. Kids today, he thought.

On another level of the SGC, Carter sat in her lab staring at her laptop. She wondered if she had made a mistake installing the Instant Messaging software on the teams systems. She had thought that it would make communication easier but so far no one else on the team seemed interested in using it. Huh, she thought, that's what you get for having an old guy, a geek and an alien on you team. She locked her computer, activated the screensaver and headed for the commissary.

Later that week, Jack was in office trying to catch up on his never decreasing stack of paperwork, when his laptop 'dinged' at him. Looking up he saw a box flashing at him asking if he'd accept a message from "Dorothy". Huh? Was this the 'spam' that Carter had warned him about? Was this message from one of those porn sites? Crap!

Jack found himself confused as he could have sworn that the spam/porn issue was to do with e-mail and not this instant messaging thing. He picked up the phone on his desk and dialed Daniel's office. The ringing on the line was incessant signaling he wasn't there. For once, Jack thought, Daniel decides to go home on time. No point asking T'ealc and he couldn't ask Carter. If he did, it would prove to her that once again he wasn't really listening when she told him about it the first time.

And even if that wasn't the reason, what would he say to her "Er, Hi Carter! I'm wondering if a woman from a porn site is trying to chat to me. How do I know?" Yeah, that would go down real well and send such a good message. Not that there was any reason why it would matter to her other than making her question his character and she must already do that having worked with him for so many years. And why should he care what she thought of him other than he wanted her respect above anyone he had ever met and needed her to see him as someone she could possibly care about.

Enough O'Neill, he yelled inwardly to himself. Calling Carter wasn't an option so time to move on.

To hell with it, he decided. What's the worst thing that could happen? He clicked the "OK" button waiting patiently blinking on his screen. With another 'ding' a new box appeared that simply stated –

_To - Jack O'Neill_

_From – Dorothy_

_**Dorothy** - Hello Jack! _

This caused further confusion for Jack as he didn't think that spam came personalized with your first name but he figured since he'd already opened the can of worms, he should at least find out what was in it. He looked down at his keyboard and with two fingers typed "Hello Dorothy" and pressed enter. Almost immediately he heard another 'ding' and a new message popped up on his screen.

_**Dorothy** - I have set up a new account and screen name for you. Log out of your instant message account and log back in with the screen name 'Scarecrow' using the password 'Emerald City'. I'll meet you back 'here' at 10pm._

Jack sat staring at his screen with his mouth open. How could this 'spammer' know that Wizard of Oz was one of his favorite movies? What did they want and why did they want him to log on with another screen name? Who were they? He heard another 'ding' causing him to refocus on the screen seeing just one word.

_**Dorothy** - Bye!_

Jack closed his mouth and scowled, typing as fast as he could with the same two fingers.

_**O'Neill** -Who are you?_

The message that came back was from the message provider stating "Dorothy is no longer logged in".

Damn, Jack said out loud as he slammed down the lid of his laptop. He leant back in his leather chair, threw his head back and stared at the ceiling. Who the hell could it be? Whoever it was had been watching him, right? Or could he be overreacting? Maybe it was just a coincidence that they chose Wizard of Oz as their theme? Nah! After all he had been through he didn't believe in coincidences and as far as he was concerned there were no random events in his life anymore either.

So back to who it could be and why so cryptic. NID? The Trust? Maybourne? That idea brought a smile to his face as the image of Maybourne in a blue gingham dress with white knee high socks, ruby slippers and pig tails came to mind. He quickly shook that off and moved onto the question of what this 'Dorothy' wanted. Information? Was it blackmail?

He leant forward and opened his laptop. Looking up at the wall he noted on the clock that it was already after 8pm. Who could he call to run a trace on the message at this hour even if instant messages were even traceable? Carter. Not that he looked forward to trying to explain his reasoning behind opening the message in the first place to her but he preferred it to asking some techie stranger.

He called her office and just as Daniel's had earlier, it simply rang. He hung up the handset, lifted it again and dialed the gatehouse at the surface of the mountain. The Colonel was quickly informed that Major Carter had already left the base. Jack realized that he didn't trust anyone but Carter to dig into this for him while he knew so little about who was behind it and what they wanted. He quickly checked his e-mail and finding no new messages of consequence he logged out of his instant message and e-mail accounts, logged off the USAF server and shut down his laptop.

Picking it up, he placed the laptop in his bag, he never was one for a briefcase, and started towards the elevator. Lost in thought, he rode to the surface, signed out, got in his car and drove home on autopilot, his mind still pondering what the message from Dorothy could mean.

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A/N Hope you like this and it's not too angsty for some of your tastes – should I continue and add some romance? 


	2. Introductions

A/N - Sorry this took so long but real life (specifically an operation that ended up with complications for my little girl)stopped me from getting this chapter typed up. I hope it lives up to expectations and thanks for all of the great reviews. I truly appreciate them all!

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Jack walked in his front door and through force of habit checked his answering machine finding no new messages. It was close to 9pm and he once again thought about calling Carter at home to get her thoughts on the situation. He pulled a beer from the fridge, popped the top and sank into a chair at the kitchen table taking a long drink. Once half the bottle was gone, Jack's sense of protection kicked in. 

Firstly protection for Carter in case it was the NID or someone of their ilk. She didn't need to be involved in that, although he would have to tell her as soon as possible once he knew what was going on. He had learned from his previous mistake (when he had 'retired' and gone undercover to expose a traitor within the SGC) that his friends, and especially Carter, did not appreciate being kept out of the loop. That being said he didn't want to put her in unnecessary danger.

Secondly, he thought of self-protection from Carter. From Carter thinking he was some kind of perv if it did turn out to be some kind of cyber 'call girl'. He didn't want to admit it but his subconscious was quietly screaming at him that in the long run that this would be way worse than the former problem.

So he would do nothing but wait. And while he was waiting he might as well enjoy himself. He picked up the phone, pressed one of the speed dial buttons and ordered a pepperoni pizza from the person on the other end of the line. He grabbed another beer and walked to the living room. Picking up the remote control, he turned on the TV and dropped into his favorite armchair. He changed channels until he found an ice-hockey game. Cool, thought Jack.

Jack became engrossed in the game finding the manic chasing of the puck around the ice calming. Only when the opening bars of the theme tune of the 10 o'clock news began did he realize the time. He moved over to his bag, pulled out his laptop and booted it up. He walked over to his couch, placing the computer on his lap, thinking what a great invention wireless was. He would never care to ask Carter to explain how it worked though. Hoping that he wasn't making another move that would put a mark against his already blemished record, Jack logged onto the instant message provider using the name 'Scarecrow' and entered the password 'Emerald City'. And then he waited.

But not very long.

After about a minute, he heard the customary ding and his screen showed the message "Will you accept a message from 'Dorothy'?" Without hesitation this time, he pressed the 'OK' key. The message box popped up and he read quickly juiced by the adrenaline coursing through his veins.

**Dorothy -** Hi! I thought you weren't coming?

Yeah - this definitely felt like the beginning of a secret rendezvous. Damn!

**Scarecrow -** Why would you think that, Dorothy?

**Dorothy -** Cos it's 10:10.

**Scarecrow - **Oh. Sorry. So what can I do for you?

**Dorothy -** Excuse me?

**Scarecrow -** Why did you contact me? Why did you want to meet?

**Dorothy -** Why do you think?

**Scarecrow -**Don't play coy. Cut to the chase and tell me what you want?

**Dorothy -**I'm sorry. I think I've made a mistake. Sorry for bothering you.

Huh? This wasn't going the way Jack expected it to. What the hell was going on? 'She' wasn't giving him the answers he anticipated and why was she playing so dumb? Why the charade? Why not just get to the point instead of all of this dancing around? Maybe he had misjudged the situation. Damn!

**Scarecrow -**No. Wait. Sorry. I'm just a little tired. It's been a long day. Let's back up and start again.

**Dorothy -**OK

**Scarecrow -** I have a few questions to ask if that's ok?

**Dorothy -**Fine but I might not answer them all :-)

**Scarecrow -**Fair enough. So who are you? Why did you contact me? How did you find me?

**Dorothy -** Wow! Is that your military training kicking in or are you just plain paranoid?

**Scarecrow -** Please answer my questions.

**Dorothy -**Yes Sir!

**Dorothy -**To be honest I'm really confused by your reaction. I'm just a woman who's looking for the same thing that you are.You and I seem to have a lot in common so I thought I would reach out to you.

**Scarecrow -**Pray tell – what is it I'm looking for and what do you think we have in common?

**Dorothy -**Well you're looking for romance and one of the things we have in common is a love of Astronomy. Another is the Wizard of Oz.

**Dorothy -**I also come from a military family.

With those responses Jack snapped. How the hell did she know anything about him? This was getting way to suspicious and Jack was now on the defensive, a position he hated to be in. And by the way, who said that he was looking for romance?

**Scarecrow -**Look Dorothy – I'm sorry to appear rude but what the heck are you talking about? How do you know anything about me? You contacted me remember?

**Dorothy -**Are you just playing a cruel joke on me? You're the one who put your interests in your instant message profile. You're the one who wrote that you're looking for romance. Why are you acting like I'm some kind of stalker?

**Scarecrow -**What instant message profile?

**Dorothy -**You're kidding right?

**Scarecrow -**Humor me.

**Dorothy -**When you set up your instant message account you filled in a profile. It's where you listed your profession, your hobbies, interests and the like. You listed yours as a public profile which is searchable. That's how I found you.

Jack quickly read Dorothy's last message and only one thought came to his mind.

I'm going to kill Carter!


	3. Profiler

Instant Message - Chapter 3.

Disclaimer - I don't own it although I wish I did when I get all of your very kind reviews!

A/N This is a short chapter since I had a chance to type it up and get it out before I may have a crazy few days!

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Jack stared at the computer and wondered what he should do next. He couldn't believe that his "Instant Messenger" was just someone who wanted to get to know him better. A woman who had purely, innocently, searched the instant message system looking for a man who had the same interests as her and came up with him. And he'd been so caught up in his black ops mentality that he had blown the whole thing out of proportion. 

**Scarecrow -** Oh. Sorry – I didn't realize that was possible and my friend set the whole thing up for me. She must have populated the profile for me. Where do I look to see what she wrote?

**Dorothy –** Go to the menu and find edit profile. You can see it there.

**Dorothy –** She?

**Scarecrow –** Huh?

**Dorothy –** Your friend – she? Is she your girlfriend?

**Scarecrow –** No.

**Scarecrow –** Just a friend.

**Scarecrow –** A colleague.

**Scarecrow –** We work together.

**Dorothy –** So I take that as an unequivocal "No" then.

**Scarecrow –** So, can I see your profile then?

**Dorothy –** Nice change of subject. Sure. You just go to 'view buddy profile' and it's there. It's just the tip of the iceberg of my depths though.

As Jack clicked to view Dorothy's profile, he thought that she came across as a bit of a smart ass – his kind of person so far then! Her profile popped up on the screen and he read it aloud to himself.

Screen Name – Dorothy

Career – Engineering

Hobbies – Computers and Technology. Astrology. International Travel.

Music – Alternative.

Meeting People online. Romance.

Hmm. Interesting. He could maybe, probably, hold a conversation with her. He was wondering what Carter had filled out for him when the familiar 'ding' was heard again.

**Dorothy –** Are you still there or has my profile put you off me for good, Colonel?

**Scarecrow –** Still here. Just a slow reader.

He reread the last two posts and something hit him as being wrong. That was it – the "Colonel". Why had she set up another instant message account for him when he had a perfectly good one that Carter had established on his behalf (if you could call it that). Why the cloak and dagger routine if she had nothing to hide?

**Scarecrow –** Why did you set up a new instant message account for me?

**Dorothy –** Pardon?

**Scarecrow –** Why do we need a new account for me if you have nothing to hide?

**Dorothy –** Hmmm. The military paranoia strikes again. Maybe it's because you have something to hide.

**Scarecrow –** I do?

**Dorothy –** Hey, I just figured that a Colonel in the US Air Force wouldn't want anyone knowing that he was having an online chat with someone for the purpose of romance.

**Scarecrow –** How could they know?

**Scarecrow –** Assuming of course that's what I was doing.

**Dorothy –** Well instant message isn't a secure communication method. It's like e-mail in that if anyone was looking at your online activity they could see your IM conversations. So considering your position I figured that someone was probably monitoring you. I thought that it would be best to have another account for your "personal life".

**Scarecrow –** Good thinking batman!

**Dorothy –** LOL. (For a newbie like you that means Laugh out loud).

**Scarecrow –** And there's me thinking it stood for Lots of Love.

**Dorothy –** I don't know you well enough for that.

**Scarecrow –** Yet!

**Dorothy –** Are you flirting with me?

**Scarecrow –** Maybe. But on that note I have to go. Sorry for all of the paranoia but it seems like you understand.

**Dorothy –** As I said – Military Brat!

**Scarecrow –** I'd like to hear more about that another time.

**Dorothy –** So you'd like to chat again?

**Scarecrow –** Sure. When?

**Dorothy –** Same time tomorrow?

**Scarecrow –** OK

**Dorothy –** C u then. Night 

**Scarecrow –** Night.

With a sigh, Jack signed off his instant messenger and sat thinking about the last 30 minutes of his life.


	4. Confrontation

**Chapter 4 – The Confrontation**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N Thanks for everyone's best wishes for my daughter. She's doing much better and started 1st Grade today.

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And then Jack remembered something. He logged back on to the instant message system but this time as 'Colonel Jack O'Neill' instead of 'Scarecrow'. As before, he found the profile area and read what Carter had written about him. 

_Screen Name - Colonel Jack O'Neill_

_Career - Military_

_Hobbies - Music, Classical, Rock; __Sports - Hockey, Fishing; __Travel; Movies; Meeting people online for romance._

He couldn't believe that Carter had done this and made it public. She was so dead when he next saw her. He then searched to find her profile but when he did it either wasn't public or wasn't populated. Whichever it was, there was nothing for him to see. Then he searched for Daniel's – nothing. T'ealc. Hmm. Jack didn't remember the screen name Carter had given T'ealc since the Jaffa had yet to use the instant message system since the software had been installed and he doubted that a search for 'T' or 'Murray' would yield a satisfactory result.

It appeared to Jack that Carter had well and truly set him up. That much he understood. What he couldn't understand was why she would do it? He had always felt that there was more to their relationship than simply CO and 2IC. They'd even admitted it during the whole Zaytarc testing incident. So why was she putting him out on the internet for romantic liaisons?

It was hurting his head to think about it. It had been a very long and confusing day and now it was almost 11pm. He had an early, though short, off-world mission in the morning that meant a 5am briefing. He shut down his computer, put it back in his bag and hit the sack for the night. He fell asleep with one word going around in his brain. Why?

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Jack was in his car driving to work while his neighbors were still asleep. The sun still had not risen when he descended to the lower levels of Cheyenne Mountain where the sun was never seen. As such he was taken aback when he arrived on PX3-422 and the light from its' two suns blinded him. So much so that he had to turn away and put on his sunglasses. 

He turned towards Carter, intending to reprimand her for not warning him about the sun when he caught the look of surprise on her face obviously caused by his reaction to arriving on the planet. He realized that she must have mentioned the two very bright suns during the briefing this morning and felt foolish. Foolish because he sat through the meeting brooding about Carters actions of the last few days instead of listening.

He gave the order to move out and thought back to the briefing. He had doodled on his notepad words that were running around in his head while he had totally ignored what Carter and Daniel had been telling him. It was to be a simple one day recon mission and for once he had actually read the mission overview beforehand. At the end of the meeting his page was filled with bubbles and swirls that contained words which he figured no one else would connect. He had been so annoyed when he was finished that he had torn the piece of paper from the notepad, folded it with angry precision, pressing hard along the folds and placed it in the pocket of his BDU's.

It was these very BDU's that he was now wearing and as he walked beside the line of trees, he pulled out the paper and began to unfold it. Knowing that the UAV had already cleared the planet of any inhabitants and the gate had obviously not been activated in years, Jack felt he could let his attention lapse for a few moments. Looking down at the paper he held, the words popped out at him.

Why

Joke

Prank

Meddling

Interfering

Spiteful

Mean

Loser

Feelings

Promise

Love

Fool

A final word was circled again and again.

Hurt

With the anger welling up inside him again, Jack crumpled up the paper in his fist and quickly stuffed it in his pocket. He raised his head and looked straight into the face of his 2IC. He hadn't realized that he had stopped walking while staring at his own written words but Carter had. What she had also noticed was the fierce scowl on Jack's face and the thin line of his lips pursed together. As his eyes met hers, she was shocked to see hurt in them.

"What's wrong?", Sam asked. "Nothing, Carter", Jack responded, the bitterness evident in his voice. He began to walk away from her, following the rest of SG-1. It was obvious to Carter that Jack was angry about something and from the way he was using his height advantage and resulting stride length to distance himself from her, it was her that he was angry at.

She recovered and ran after him, calling out "Colonel" as she did. He didn't stop and Sam could have sworn that he actually sped up. At her pace, she caught up with him in a matter of seconds and although he must have heard her running behind him, he still did not stop. Sam reached out and grabbed his shoulder, a gesture he pulled away from. She quietly said just one word – "Jack". He finally turned towards her.

"What Carter?"

"You're angry at me and I think I know why", she replied in an even tone. His sarcastic response of "You do? Pray tell" was like a slap in the face to her and she took a step back from him. "Is this about the instant message thing?" she asked trying not to show that she was cringing inside.

"If by "thing" you're referring to you setting up an instant message profile without telling me, including in said profile personal information without telling me, stating in it that I was online looking for goddamn romance without telling me and then making it public for the whole damn world to see without telling me, then yes Carter, it's about the instant message thing!"

By the end of his speech, Jack was yelling at Sam and his nose was only six inches away from hers. His nostrils were flaring in anger and his eyes were so dark that they could have been black.

Over Jack's shoulder Sam could see that T'ealc and Daniel had heard the altercation and were now making their way towards them. Sam shook her head and her colleagues stopped but did not look away from the pair. She brought her attention back to Jack but refused to step back from his attempt at intimidation. He was upset with her and without any explanation from her, he had every right to be.

She looked him straight in the eye and whispered "I'm sorry".

Jack was obviously expecting an argument and her simple admission took all the fight out of him. His shoulders sagged and he took a step back from her. Without breaking eye contact, he responded with just one word. "Why?"

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A/N - Hope you still like this - let me know by reviewing. Thanks. 


	5. Get a life!

**Chapter 5 – Get a life!**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N Thanks for all of the reviews I received, I appreciate everyone who took the time to click the button at the end of the page at let me know that people are still interested. Hope this one satisfies your needs.

_BTW – this angst filled chapter is written in honor of Su Freund and The Abbot of Beregost – they encourage me to embrace my love of writing angst :-)_

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"Why did you do it?", Jack elaborated staring at her so intently that Sam thought he was actually trying to look into her soul. 

She took a deep breath and spoke the first words that came to mind. "I needed to get a life".

A look of utter confusion crossed Jack's face and he opened and closed his mouth twice in quick succession. "Say again, Carter" finally came out on the third attempt. "I said, I needed to get a life". He looked at her incredulously and said "**You** needed to get a life so you put **my** profile on the web. Sorry. I know I'm not the smart one of the two of use but I'm missing the connection here".

Without thinking she began to speak. "Sir, I don't know why you put yourself down like that, I mean, I know you're not a master of wormhole physics but as a strategist …".

"Carter!" Jack raised his voice and his hand at once. She snapped to attention out of habit and then relaxed slightly when she saw his expression. His eyes were imploring and his face had softened. He said "Carter, I **need** you to explain this to me. Please."

"OK Jack. But can we walk while we talk. I think Daniel and T'ealc are getting a little antsy standing over there pretending they're not watching us." A very slight smile touched Jack's lips and since the rare use of his first name had not gone unnoticed by him, he nodded his assent and called "Move out" to nobody in particular and started to walk.

He saw the slight nod of the head he received from T'ealc and didn't miss the same gesture that Carter gave to Daniel . Reassurance spread around the small group and their colleagues began to walk ahead as before and Sam joined Jack on their six. Both were lost in thought as they walked. Jack was contemplating the use of his first name and relieved that it meant she was going to be honest with him and tell him what was going on. Sam was trying to formulate her words in a way that could possibly explain her intentions without hurting him anymore then she obviously already had. She was kicking herself for going down this path in the first place but she figured that what's done is done and there was no point in dwelling on the wisdom of her original set of decisions.

Jack's emotions were reeling but the dominant feeling was one of confusion. Confusion, and impatience, but the confusion was definitely winning and it wasn't an intellectual confusion, one born of a lack of understanding of how some Tok'ra technology worked or of how some biological foe would affect a planet. No this was an emotional confusion the likes of which he hadn't experienced in years. Maybe even 20 years B.C. 20 years Before Carter. It was at the very least before Sara. There had been little confusion in his marriage. Just a resigned knowledge that it wouldn't work. Sara realized it before he had but he wasn't confused by her decisions. Just saddened.

But today, walking on a planet on the other side of the galaxy he was angry and hurt and definitely confused. He thought once again how he had honestly thought that he and Sam had an understanding of what was between them and an understanding of the fact that they would wait for each other until they could do something about it.

His thoughts were interrupted by Sam's voice. "So", she began and then paused. "So?" questioned Jack, hating the silence. Hating the wait. "So I needed to get a life. You told me so yourself. Many, many times. So I decided to return the favor. I mean I'm not the only one here who works all the hours that God sends. I know I spend a lot of time in my lab when I'm off duty but I enjoy my work and frankly I don't see you rushing off the base to some amazing social life."

Sam stopped talking simply because she had run out of breath. Jack took the opportunity to defend himself. "I go to Minnesota whenever I get the chance. I get away from the SGC." Sam responded, "Yes but in Minnesota what do you do? You hangout at your cabin. With fish. Correct me if I'm wrong but I don't think you have any amazing hot dates while you're there".

She gasped and her hand flew to cover her mouth as the last words came out complete with sarcastic tone. She couldn't believe that she had actually said that out loud. To him. To her CO. But worse she had said it to Jack, the man she cared about more than any man she had ever known. And now she had let these thoughts pass her lips which were at the very best presumptuous and at worst extremely hurtful.

"Crap! Sorry Sir! I didn't mean that. I mean I'm sure you have lots of amazing dates in Minnesota. I mean I didn't mean to imply that weren't date worthy. I meant… Oh Crap! This is just going all wrong. This isn't what I meant for this to be, Sir." She was now looking at the ground trying to hide her embarrassment, frustration and the tears that were now beginning to fill her eyes.

The sound of laughter made her abruptly raise her head forgetting the tears she had been trying to hide. She saw Jack looking at her obviously laughing at her discomfort and then spotting the upset written on her face, he quickly moved towards her putting an arm around her shoulder. "It's ok. Really", he said, "It's obvious that you meant no harm by what you did. Misguided but not malicious. Right?"

"Yes Sir", Sam sniffed. "You kept saying you wanted me to get a life and it made me realize that you needed to get a life too. I was tired and not thinking straight and I thought that his might help. I'm sorry if I went about it all wrong. Can you forgive me?"

Jack stared down into the puppy dog eyes that were looking up at him and he knew that he had already forgiven her. She obviously just to wanted him to be happy and how could he stay mad at her for that. Especially her. He sighed and gave her a squeeze.

"Of course I can. You're probably right that we both need to get a life and I promise you that we'll get one. Now as long as you promise to delete the profile we can forget all about this. OK?"

"OK", she replied.

Jack broke away and began to move in the direction of his teammates. If he had turned back to Sam at that moment and looked closely at his 2IC he'd have seen a twinkle in her eye and if he had listened closely he'd have heard her say "Yes Jack, you're right. We're both going to get a life".

She smiled to herself and began to walk wondering what the future would now bring.

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A/N Please review if you have a minute. Back to the IM in the next chapter I think :-) 


	6. Food for thought

**Chapter 6 – Food for Thought**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N Once again, thanks for all of the reviews I received, I appreciate everyone who took the time to click the button at the end of the page at let me know that people are still interested. For those of you who would like to see more frequent updates I need to tell you that I will commit to posting one chapter per week at the very least which is about all I can promise with real life getting in the way (see my profile for what my version of real life consists).

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The remainder of the mission passed quietly with non of SG-1 discussing the earlier incident. Once back at the SGC, the usual debriefing was held and once complete General Hammond relieved them from duty for the night. As the teammates were leaving the briefing room, the General requested that O'Neill stay behind. 

"What's up General?" Asked Jack receiving a reply of "That's what I want to know Colonel. You were very distracted throughout the briefing and hardly looked at your 2IC the whole time. However, when you did look at her you had a strange expression on your face. Is there something going on between you and Major Carter that I need to know about?".

The General hated asking the question knowing for a fact that his 2IC had some kind of feelings for his 2IC although at this point he had no idea what they could be defined as. He was mentally keeping his fingers crossed that he would receive the "right" answer because until the day came when he knew for a fact that Colonel Jack O'Neill and Major Samantha Carter were breaking the fraternization rules, he would turn a blind eye to the loving looks, the secret touches and the unrepentant willingness to die for one another.

"No Sir. At least not in the way you mean. We simply had a heated conversation off-world and she said some strange things that just didn't seem to add up".

"Colonel, are you telling me that you think Major Carter has been compromised? That she's a Goa'uld?"

Jack looked at his superior officer and with a deadpan expression replied "No Sir. I think she's a woman". The corner of Jack's mouth turned up slightly and General Hammond let out a low chuckle. "Oh yes Colonel. You can be assured of that". He smiled at Jack with a true affection that had grown for the man over the years that he had worked with him.

"Dismissed", he ordered and as Jack left the room, the smile turned slightly sad as he thought of the feelings he knew the Colonel and Major felt for each other but could not explore. If only there was a way, he thought and with a sigh he picked up the pre-mission report he needed to read before SG-13's briefing.

* * *

That evening Jack did a good job of not thinking about the events of the day. He ordered Chinese food, sweet and sour chicken with pork fried rice and an egg roll. He'd had a lot of exercise on PX3-422 so what the heck! He put on his Simpsons DVD choosing an episode with lots of itchy and scratchy. 

His eye kept drifting towards the digital clock glowing green on his DVD player. 21:50. With 10 minutes to go before his online rendezvous, he pulled his laptop from his bag and hooked it up. He logged onto instant messaging system, signing in as Scarecrow. Staring at the bright colors of the banner ads on the screen, a thought hit him and he opened the profile search option. He looked up his 'Colonel O'Neill" profile and … nothing appeared. He searched every different iteration of his name and still nothing.

He smiled to himself as he came to the conclusion that, true to her word, Carter had removed his profile from the IM universe. All going well he wouldn't be receiving any new 'suitors' and he now just had to figure out a way to deal with the one he already had.

As id on cue he heard his computer ding. "Will you accept a message from Dorothy?" He raised his eyes to heaven and rubbed his hand over his face ending the movement running his fingers through his graying hair, resting his hand on his neck. He really didn't need this tonight especially when the implications of why Carter had set him up in the situation were running around in his head. He made a quick decision. He would end this now. There was nothing real about this virtual 'relationship' and no good would come of it.

He pressed the OK button and a message box popped up onto his screen.

**Dorothy –** Hi Scarecrow!

**Scarecrow –** Hi Dorothy

**Dorothy –** Whatcha wearing?

Oh he really wasn't in the mood for this.

**Scarecrow –** Jeans and a grey sweater

**Dorothy – **Nice. Do you want to know what I'm wearing?

**Scarecrow – **Not particularly

**Dorothy –** Wow! Either you're not quite the man I thought you were or you're in a very bad mood

**Scarecrow –** Sorry, had a bad day

**Dorothy –** Wanna talk about it?

**Scarecrow –** No, not really

**Dorothy –** Oh. Not really? That's an opening you know. So what was it? Work? A woman?

**Scarecrow –** If you must know a bit of both actually

**Dorothy –** Huh?

**Scarecrow –** I had an argument with my friend, a woman, a colleague, about this IM'ing actually and it was very unpleasant and upsetting and I'm confused about the whole thing which is why I don't want to talk about it.

**Dorothy –** Is this the colleague who set up your instant message profile?

**Scarecrow –** Yep

**Dorothy –** Ahh! So you were pissed off that she played a trick on you

**Scarecrow –** No it wasn't a trick and that's not why I was pissed really

**Dorothy –** You lost me there. Explain.

**Scarecrow – **She set it up because she wanted me to get a life

**Dorothy –** Well that was nice of her, looking out for you. Right?

**Scarecrow –** I suppose you could look at it that way

**Dorothy –** So you need to get a life, eh?

**Scarecrow –** I guess I do

**Dorothy –** So what do you want in this life that you need to get?

**Scarecrow –** That's where it gets a little hazy for me. I'm not sure anymore and I'm too tired to figure it out right now.

**Scarecrow –** Do you know what you want in life?

**Dorothy –** Well since you ask, yes I do

**Scarecrow – **And what is that?

**Dorothy –** I want it all!

**Scarecrow – **LOL. Is that all?

**Dorothy –** Seriously. I want it all. I want the man. The children. The career. The happiness. As I said, I want it all.

**Scarecrow –** But what happens when you can't have it all

**Dorothy –** You make it happen. Whatever it takes you get it.

**Scarecrow –** you think it's that easy

**Dorothy –** No but you have to find a way to make it that easy

**Scarecrow –** Hmm. Food for thought.

**Dorothy –** I know you're tired, and not all together in the greatest of moods, so let me leave you with this.

**Dorothy -** Take the next 24 hours and think.

**Dorothy – **What do you really want in life?

**Dorothy –** Think about it Scarecrow. Goodnight.

And with that a message appeared on the screen telling Jack that Dorothy had logged off.

* * *

A/N Hmm – what will Jack conclude? I hope you're all still interested and will tune in next week to find out! 


	7. 24 Hours

**Instant Message**

**Chapter 7 – 24 Hours.**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N It's only been 5 days since I last posted, so for all of you who wanted this story quicker than a week apart, this is for you! Hope you like it :-)

* * *

Jack was staring at her. She didn't think that he knew that he was doing it though. She looked up at him, intending to make eye contact. To silently ask him why he was looking at her so intently in full sight of anyone who wished to notice. In the commissary of all places. But when she looked into his eyes they didn't look back at her.

He had obviously been staring at the same spot on her face for so long that he had zoned out, lost in thought. What she wouldn't give to know what he was thinking but now was not the time nor the place to ask. She coughed quietly and said "Sir". Jack started upon hearing Sam's voice and his dark brown eyes came into focus looking directly into hers. "Yes, Carter?", he asked. "Sir is there something on my face?", Sam said, answering his question with a question. Jack looked very confused and shaking his head said "No, Why?"

He heard Sam whisper "Because you've been staring at me". Jack blushed at her words which in turn made her give him one of her megawatt smiles that he had convinced himself she saved just for him. Sam always liked it when the façade of the "Colonel" broke down and Jack O'Neill appeared. "I'm sorry. I was just thinking", Jack murmured.

Sam smiled at him again, the expected words flowing freely from her mouth without much regard for rank. "You'll hurt yourself you know!". Jack pulled a face at her and took the distraction as an opportunity to extract himself from the conversation. He knew Carter well enough to know that the next words she spoke would be "What were you thinking about?".

He placed his hands flat on the surface of the table and pushed himself up and away. His knees clicked as he did so, only adding to the emotions that were haunting him that day. He felt old. Very old. He gave the tried and trusted "paperwork" excuse and hastily left to find the sanctuary of his office.

Sam watched him leave the room and with a knowing grin she returned to her blue jello.

* * *

Sitting in his office with the door closed, Jack threw a ball against the wall opposite his desk, thankful that the other side of the wall housed a supply closet. Toilet paper wouldn't complain to General Hammond about the irritating banging. He couldn't believe that she'd caught him staring. Then again, he was surprised that it was the first time she had noticed it today, since he had caught himself staring every time he was in a room with her!

He had been thinking about the question Dorothy had posed to him the previous night and hadn't been able to think about anything else since. For pretty much all of the last 18 hours, Jack had been contemplating his own existence and what he wanted from it. He'd had an appalling nights sleep, thoughts and images spinning around his brain, causing dreams and thrown covers as he saw Sara, Charlie, Daniel, T'ealc, Hammond, Sam. Especially Sam.

Upon waking, he tried to put the pieces back together, but it wasn't really necessary. In his tired consciousness, he knew what his psyche was pointing to but he wouldn't accept it. He needed to walk it through in his mind. Look at all angles like the strategist he was. And he came to the same conclusion again and again.

Jack wanted another chance at happiness. He wanted a wife and a child. Hopefully more than one if he were lucky he thought, pushing aside the nagging doubts about his age. What he wanted resembled what he had before Charlie died but he wanted it to be different. He didn't want the secrecy and the lies. He wanted a relationship where he could be honest with his family about what he did for a living, the ability to share his fears and hopes, his successes and abject failures. He knew that his occupation had torn apart his marriage long before the bullet had taken Charlie away.

However, he also knew that he didn't want to give up his career. He could look himself in the mirror everyday and know what he was doing was truly for the good of mankind and that felt great. No matter which road he took in his mind, no matter which direction he chose, he kept arriving at the very same destination. What he wanted in his life, what he needed more than anything else was just one thing.

Or more precisely just one person. Samantha Carter.

And every time he arrived at Sam as a conclusion, seconds later he came to the realization that it could never happen. He caught the ball as it rebounded off the wall and slowly placed it on the floor beside him. He put his elbows on the desk, his head in his hands and let out a long sigh.

* * *

Later that night, Sam sat in her house with her head in her hands. She sighed wondering what the next few minutes would bring. Her chest felt tight and she could feel her blood pressure rising. She knew that her future rested upon the outcome of the conversation she was about to undertake.

Watching the hand on the clock move to the top of the hour, Sam looked at her computer keyboard and began to type.

"Hello Scarecrow!".


	8. Everything he wants

**Instant Message **

**Chapter 8 – Everything he wants**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N OK. So firstly thank you to everyone who took the time to review the last chapter. You are all so awesome and so patient. I hope this chapter is worth the wait!

To the couple of people who were a little more, shall we say critical, of my posting schedule, since you didn't leave your e-mail addresses I'll have to make my offer to you here. If you come to my office and do my job and then come to my house and cook dinner, look after 2 small kids and keep my hubby happy then I'll post quicker. Deal:-)

* * *

Jack had been thinking about the question Dorothy had asked him for most of the last 24 hours. However, he had definitely not been thinking about Dorothy for all of that time. A large part of his consciousness had been occupied with alternating between trying not to think about Samantha Carter and thinking about her with such vividness that it truly shocked him. 

He had taken a nap when he had arrived home from the mountain, exhausted purely from thinking about Carter way too much. That and the effort to try to avoid her for the remainder of the day after the commissary incident. So the nap was meant to wash away the tiredness that engulfed him. God! He was getting old!

Unfortunately his sleep was once again filled with dreams as it had been the night before. The images that filled his head this evening, however, were starkly different in theme.

He saw Sam as if he were watching her with his own eyes. She was in his back yard, laughing as she watched something, or someone, else in the near distance. He followed her gaze and found a child, more of a toddler really, trying to chase a butterfly, while teetering on the brink of falling down. The little girl had dirty blond hair that fell in curls around her head to a point just above her ears. He joined Sam in laughing at her efforts and the girl turned her head towards him and fixed her eyes on him. Underneath the fringe of curls, wide eyes looked at him, surrounded by long eyelashes framing pools that were deep brown and seemed to have no end.

Jack gasped aloud in his sleep as the realization of what he saw hit him and suddenly the scene changed and he was in his bed. He shook his head trying to wrap his brain around the dream. He had been on the verge of getting up to move towards the bathroom when he felt a gentle breath on his neck. The experience caused what could only be described as goose bumps to form on his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye he could see delicate fingers trailing down his naked arm. They found their way to his hand and intertwined with it.

Before he had a chance to turn, he felt her spoon up behind him. He took in the distinctly familiar smell as she pressed herself up against him. His body instinctively pressed back as a silky leg drew up from his foot to his calf, moving higher each moment. As her foot moved to his groin he let out a gasp to which a giggle was the reply. Reflexively Jack murmured "No giggling, Major".

Jack shot up right and looked towards the other side of the bed., It was empty but he still was a hard as a teenager waking after a playboy filled dream. "Shit", he muttered. It has all seemed so real.

He moved to the bathroom, turned the shower on and stepped in, making sure it was set to cold. He stood under the freezing water and tried not to think of the dream or its' implications. He grasped for the bar of soap and began to aggressively lather up his body as if hoping to wash away the images that were burned into his psyche. He finished washing, stepped out of the stall and began to towel himself off.

It was all Dorothy's damn fault. She had laid this at his feet by asking him what he wanted in life and once his conscious mind had admitted what that was, his subconscious had taunted him with visions of clarity about what that precisely was. But could never have.

He cursed the day he had ever 'spoken' to her and once again swore to himself that it would end that night. It was getting late, his dreams had caused his 'nap' to be longer than planned, so he quickly threw on jeans and a long sleeved t-shirt and made his way to the kitchen. He pulled a much needed ice cold beer from the fridge and moved into the sitting room where his laptop lay open and booted up. He eyed the computer from the other side of the room with such distaste that anyone who happened to be watching would have thought he believed he could catch something 'bad' by simply touching it.

He slowly stalked around the table upon which the machine sat, trying to decide whether he would even have the conversation. He had never been any good at ending relationships, even when he knew that it wasn't going anywhere, or worse when he truly detested the person. But he rarely ever spoke the words that ended it, preferring instead to do something really crappy, like consistently being late, or outright missing dates. Even he knew that the "I had to work late" excuse was only accepted a limited number of times before a woman's pride finally kicked in.

For someone who dealt with conflict everyday for a living, he disliked intensely confrontation in his personal life. So he would act like enough of a jerk for the lady in question to know that he wasn't boyfriend, or husband in later years, material, but not enough for her to no longer want to be friends with him. So they always ended it and he always protested the decision. Not very hard mind you, but he felt that he should at least make them feel that he cared that they were leaving him. Not that he was trying to be cruel or manipulative. He just hated confrontation and when it came to telling women how he felt he was really bad with words.

How he ever managed to woo Sara, and actually convince her to marry him, still amazed him to this day. And now it was twenty years later and he felt his skills still hadn't improved that much. For crying out loud! The only reason he had ever admitted to having feelings for Carter was because after the Zay'tarc test they would have given him a lobotomy if he hadn't. More to the point, they would have given Carter one, and the world just shouldn't have to live without the genius that she was.

And he had done such a good job of that she had insisted that the feelings be locked in the room never to be spoken of again. And Laira?Well that only happened because she pursued him so aggressively. And she had gotten him drunk! But that was very much in the past and Carter was in his present. But, he reminded himself, she was not his future and that he had to accept.

He took a long drink of his beer and sat at the chair in front of the laptop. He logged on to the IM system knowing that even in this situation he couldn't take the cowards way out. He had to let Dorothy know that he wouldn't be making their rendezvous' anymore.

He heard the now well know 'ding' and looked up at the screen.

"Will you accept a message from Dorothy?"

He looked away from the screen for a moment before turning back to the message. He clicked on the 'Yes' button and saw the message pop up.

**Dorothy –** Hello Scarecrow!

Jack sighed, shook his head to himself, looked down at the keyboard and typed "Hi Dorothy".

* * *

A/N Yes I know it's the same place I left it that last time but I thought you might like to know what Jack was thinking some more – Hope that was ok? 


	9. Amazing!

**Chapter 9 – Amazing**

_Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc._

A/N - Once again your reviews are so great. They truly give me the impetuous to keep writing this story even when real life totally calls me in another direction. I hope that it is still worth reading especially since this week we have an extra long chapter!

* * *

Sam finished typing "Hi Scarecrow!" and waited, not realizing she was drumming her fingers on the desk. The action wasn't so much to do with impatience, although that certainly was a factor, 'Where the hell is he?', but more to do with the anxiousness she felt about his response. 

For the hundredth time she asked herself what on earth she had been thinking when she had set this all up. She had wanted to get to know Jack better outside of work but the frat regs were in the way. So she had set up this elaborate plan to 'be' someone else but it hadn't worked out the was she had wished. Other than a tiny bit of flirting that first evening, the conversations had never gone the way she had expected them to. No major 'this is who I am outside of work'. No 'let's flirt like mad and have crazy cyber-sex'. Nothing.

No what she'd gotten was a major argument from the man she loved and lots of tears for her trouble.

And now she sat, a little after 10 o'clock, wondering what Jack would say about his wants and needs. Now she'd had time to reflect upon her stupid plan, she prayed that she, Sam, was part of the equation and hoped that she, Dorothy, wasn't. God it would feel so awful if he came back and said that he wanted some mindless sex-based virtual relationship. Then again it could be worse, she thought. He could say that he wanted some mindless sex-based physical relationship!

And Jack always said that she was the smart one. Yeah right!

And so she sat and waited for what felt like an eternity before the IM 'ding' sounded and Sam knew it was time for her to face her fate. She knew that she needed to keep the banter light, and so the conversation began.

**Scarecrow –** Hi Dorothy.

**Dorothy – **Whatcha wearing?

**Scarecrow –** Jeans and a long sleeved T

**Dorothy –** Wanna know what I'm wearing?

**Scarecrow –** Sorry. Still no on that one.

**Dorothy –** Oh you are just no fun are you?

**Scarecrow –** I'll have you know that I can be amazing fun when I'm in the mood.

**Dorothy –** So you're not in the mood now?

**Scarecrow –** No

**Dorothy – **And why is that?

**Scarecrow –**You!

**Dorothy – **Me? What have I done?

**Scarecrow –** It's not what you've done, it's what you said.

**Dorothy –** Precisely what did I say that has you in a bad mood when we haven't even 'spoken' in 24 hours.

**Scarecrow –** That's just it. You put it in my head that I needed to think about what I wanted and that's what I've been doing since we last 'spoke'.

**Dorothy –** and what did you come up with?

**Scarecrow –** Nothing that I want to discuss with you. I just logged on tonight to say goodbye.

**Dorothy – **Oh. Well that wasn't what I expected. I thought that at least from a cyber perspective we got on quite well. So why do you want to 'leave'?

**Scarecrow –** I'm really bad at this touchy feely stuff but here goes.

**Scarecrow –** I don't want to string you along thinking that I'm interested in pursuing a relationship with you.

**Dorothy –** One – that's not bad for someone who claims to be "bad at this touchy feely stuff". Two – That's what you came up with after thinking for 24 hours? That you don't want me? Wow you must lead a very insular life!

**Scarecrow –** Oh very witty! No that's not what I came up with. It's just one simple outcome of what I came up with.

**Dorothy –** So?

**Scarecrow –** So I realized that I pretty much want what you want.

**Dorothy – **You want the man? The Children? The Career? The happiness?

**Scarecrow –** Oh you are just so funny aren't you?

**Dorothy –** I try:-) Go on.

**Scarecrow –** You know what I mean. I want the wife the kids, the happily ever after.

**Dorothy –** Cool! So do you have anyone in mind? (Other than me of course since you hardly know me, we've never met and you just dumped me , I think!)

**Scarecrow –** No one that it could happen with. So let's just drop the subject and say goodnight.

**Dorothy –** Not so fast, Mister! So there is someone that you'd like to have all of that with? The marriage, 2.4 kids and dog?

**Scarecrow –** Yes.

**Dorothy –** Tell me about her.

**Scarecrow –** Why?

**Dorothy –** Because you're not interested in what I may or may not have to offer and at least I'll have an idea of what you turned me down for. That and it sounds like it would be good for you to talk about it.

**Scarecrow –** Fine.

**Scarecrow –** She's amazing!

**Dorothy –** Wow! Amazing! No wonder I don't measure up:-) So what's so amazing about her?

**Scarecrow –** She just is.

**Dorothy – **Do you realize that you sound like a 10 year old? Be a grown up. Describe the woman of your dreams.

**Scarecrow –** Will it make you go away if I do?

**Dorothy –** Maybe. And that answer will have to do you.

**Scarecrow –** OK. But remember you asked for it.

**Scarecrow –** She is incredibly beautiful and her eyes sparkle and when she smiles at me – Wow! She has this smile that I've convinced myself she reserves just for me. And when she smiles that smile, she captures my heart. And it happens every time. And I just fall more and more in love with her.

**Dorothy –** Take a breath, Scarecrow!

**Dorothy -** Well that was high praise indeed. So she's beautiful and has a nice smile. Are you only interested in her looks?

**Scarecrow –** What did you teach me? Oh yeah. LOL!

**Dorothy –** Why are you laughing?

**Scarecrow –** Because when I think of her "looks", as you call them, just happen to be the easiest thing to write about. She is absolutely gorgeous and no one could ever dispute me on that.

**Scarecrow –** However, something that is not so easy to write about is her intellect.

**Dorothy –** Why? She isn't that smart? Is that what you're trying to find the words to say?

**Scarecrow – **No, Miss Know it all. It isn't. In fact it is the complete opposite.

**Dorothy –** Huh?

**Scarecrow – **The only way I can describe her is as a complete genius. She is so smart that it's hard to comprehend.

**Scarecrow –** In fact she is so smart, and her ideas are so incredible, that even I have a hard time understanding her and I have two Masters degrees.

**Dorothy –** You do?

**Scarecrow –**Yes

**Dorothy –** OK, stop trying to impress me. You already told me that you're not interested so it really isn't necessary.

**Scarecrow –** You don't believe that I have two Masters?

**Dorothy –** Well you never said anything about them.

**Scarecrow –** When?

**Dorothy –** I mean wrote about them. In your profile.

**Scarecrow –** I didn't write about them because I didn't write my profile. Carter, who did write my profile, didn't write about them because she doesn't know about them.

**Dorothy –** Oh OK. So does your true love know how smart you are?

**Scarecrow –** No. Because I like it when she explains things to me. Her eyes light up and she gets so excited as if she's learning about them herself for the first time. And it obviously makes her really happy and I'm happy when she's happy.

**Dorothy – **So you're telling me you understand everything she explains to you even though she's supposedly a genius?

**Scarecrow – **No, not everything. But a lot of it – yes.

**Dorothy –** So what the heck are these mystery Masters in then?

**Scarecrow –** What does it matter?

**Dorothy –** It matters. To me.

**Scarecrow –** Military Strategy and Astronomy.

**Dorothy –** Wow! You really are as smart as I always thought you were.

**Scarecrow –** Excuse me? You've known me what? A week?

**Dorothy –** Well to become a Colonel you must be pretty smart.

**Scarecrow –** Shows how little you really know about the military. Brat or not. I know some absolute idiots who are Colonels.

**Scarecrow –** Anyway, are we done with this little interrogation session?

**Dorothy –** Hmm, let me see. Almost.

**Scarecrow – **What else could you possibly want to know?

**Dorothy –** Well, if your mystery lady is so gorgeous and so brilliant, how come you're not together? Is she attached to someone else?

**Scarecrow –** You could say that.

**Dorothy –** What does that mean?

**Scarecrow – **It means that no matter what, she can't be attached to me right now.

**Dorothy –** God this is like pulling teeth! Care to elaborate.

**Scarecrow –** It's complicated and I'm not sure I want to get into it right now. It's hard enough just talking about all this.

**Scarecrow –** Do you know how hard it is to love someone and no be able to be with them?

**Dorothy –** Actually I do have some experience with that, yes.

**Scarecrow –** So you can empathize with me then.

**Dorothy –** Unfortunately I can.

**Scarecrow –** So can we not talk about Samantha anymore then.

Jack waited for a response but none came.

**Scarecrow –** Are you there?

**Scarecrow –** Hello?

**Dorothy –** Sorry. My phone rang. I have to go. Something important has come up.

**Scarecrow –** Everything ok?

**Dorothy –** Fine. I'll meet you back here same time on Sunday. I have a few things I need to take care of over the next few days.

**Scarecrow –** OK.

**Dorothy –** Bye.

Before he could realize that she had set up another "meeting", Sam quickly logged off the IM system. However, she kept the conversation window open and reread what they had written.

"Oh my God! He said it. He actually said he loves me!", Sam whispered as she stared at the screen re-reading the words again and again.

Ten minutes across town, Jack was trying to figure out why something was sitting right with him about the conversation with Dorothy. A red flag had been raised again but he couldn't out his finger on exactly why it had been raised.

Then he swore out loud as two unrelated realizations hit him at once. Firstly, he had agreed to meet up with Dorothy again (how had she managed that?) and secondly, he had admitted, in writing no less to a total stranger, what he had refused to admit to himself for years. He loved Samantha Carter.

Jack banged his hand down on the table in front of him so hard that his skin stung and yelled to no one in particular. "Damn!"


	10. Lightness

**Instant Message**

**Chapter 10 – Lightness**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – You guys are unbelievable! I can't believe that so many of you took the time to review the last chapter. The reviewstruly are the best incentive and I'm pleased to say that they inspired another long chapter. Hope you like it.

* * *

Jack found himself staring at Sam during the mission briefing the next morning. It wasn't the usual all out staring that one might expect from a man who had a fitful night plagued by erotic dreams. There was no leering. There was no open mouth drooling. In fact no one even noticed except him. 

Sam was discussing a quirk in the planet's gravity due to its size relative to Earth. Since everyone in the room thought that he didn't understand what she was talking about he was free to look at her as intently as he wanted. They would simply think that he was staring, hoping that the words leaving her mouth would become clearer to him.

However, since he had understood every word she had written in regards to the anomaly in the briefing he had read over coffee that morning, he was actually looking at various Carter body parts. One by one. Playing a game. Memorizing each part and relating them to his dreams from the night before.

He started with her mouth which looked rich, full and red, as she described the barometric expectation of their mission. He remembered how in his dreams he had gently brushed his lips against that very mouth, which responded with eagerness when his tongue had pushed for entry. He noticed her tongue as she spoke remembering the imagined sensations that rippled through him as he tasted her.

He then looked at her hair which she had grown a little longer lately. He had felt the tickle of those blond tendrils as she had moved her kisses down his bare chest as she took control of their embrace.

Back in reality, Sam was drawing attention to a photograph taken by the UAV contained in the report, pointing as she spoke. Jack looked at her hand and saw beautiful long fingers, nails short and polish less. The fingers that he had dreamt had caressed his abdomen as they moved lower to claim their target.

Sam lifted her gaze from the photograph and found herself looking at Jack who had a peculiar grin on his face. She had seen it once before when they had been in the commissary with Daniel after the time loop incidents. She had always wondered what he had been thinking about then and in light of the instant message conversation of last night, she now felt sure that it was associated with her.

She felt a tingling deep down in her abdomen as she began to imagine what illicit thoughts may have caused that grin. She found herself wondering what it would be like to have Jack's hands touch her in a way he definitely wasn't supposed to. The intensity of the sensation grew stronger and she moved her gaze from his lips up to his eyes.

They both felt the jolt when their eyes met and they simultaneously looked away.

Daniel had to stifle a laugh watching his team mates actually turn their heads away to hide the fact that that they had been looking at the other. The act gave the opposite of the desired effect, making it blatantly obvious that they had been sharing a moment. He quickly shot a glance at General Hammond and was satisfied that he was unaware of the indiscretion concentrating instead on the photograph.

Daniel understood how his friends felt about each other but also knew them well enough to know that any interference from him would simply lead to denial. Denial and them moving further into their respective shells. After all these years he was still dumbfounded by the fact that they would break just about every other reg in the book but they wouldn't break the frat regs.

As he saw it, the regs may just as well be a convenient excuse for two people who had spent a large part of their recent lives shying away from intimacy. They both had experienced a great deal of hurt in their lives, both having lost someone dear to them. He could empathize with that, having been orphaned himself, but his circumstance had simply made him jump at the chance of happiness with Sha're.

As he watched his friends perfect their emotionless masks, Daniel wondered if they could ever find a place and time where they could give into their feelings and give each other a chance at happiness. He sighed and turned his focus back to the briefing.

SG-1 Walked though the shimmering blue horizon of the stargate at 10:00 hours that day and arrived on a planet that felt very much like fall in Colorado. The weather was clear, only a couple of clouds filled the sky, and there was a definite chill in the air.

There was also a distinct lightness to everything. Their kits appeared to weigh a little less and their steps seemed a little easier to take. Jack knew that these were effects of the gravitational anomaly but never the less laughed to himself as he wondered if it were instead a result of a weight being lifted off his shoulders.

'Who knew it could be so liberating to admit that you loved your 2IC?', Jack thought to himself as his grin widened further still.

He heard the whoosh of the Stargate closing behind him and he turned to find Sam standing beside him.

"What's so funny, sir?", she asked.

"Nothing, Carter. I was just thinking that everything feels a little less burdensome today."

Sam resisted showing the smile his statement brought and instead said "As I explained, Sir, since this planet is smaller than Earth, the gravitational pull is weakened, …"

"Ah!", Jack stopped her with a wave of his hand, "I understood it the first time and that's not what I meant."

Sam couldn't believe that he had just admitted he had understood her "techno-babble". Was he beginning to slowly remove the walls between them with this being the first confession? She quickly decided that she should let it go, fearing that if she pointed out his lapse he would withdraw from her. Instead she simply said, "Yes, Sir", and smiled at him. A smile that he had been correct in determining she reserved just for him. What Jack would never understand was that sometimes she smiled at him purely to get a reaction out of him.

In fact, she did it to get the very reaction she was witnessing, his eyes lighting up and a look of pure satisfaction crossing his face. She wondered to herself that if she got a look like that from a smile, what would she get if she gave her body to him? She inwardly scolded herself for daring to think such thoughts, but his confessions of the previous night had unlocked an abandon in her she had long hidden. Unfortunately she knew that is needed to remain suppressed, at least until she figured out her next step.

She was elated that he loved her but had no idea what his reaction would be if he discovered that she was Dorothy. Deception was not something Jack O'Neill looked upon favorably and she once again found herself questioning her actions. Just as Sam started to analyze the situation to the point of despair she heard Jack call out to her. He stepped closer, out of earshot of their colleagues.

"So Carter, we're not going to be with each other a lot on this mission are we?"

She looked at him with an easily readable confusion and said "No, Sir. Not unless you want to ditch your recon with T'ealc and come play with rocks with Daniel and I?"

He could see a slight twitch of a grin forming as she finished her sentence.

"Er, no Carter. As appealing as that sounds, T would be lonely without me", Jack said grinning at her.

"So no, Sir, we'll see each other when we meet back here to go through the gate. Why?", Sam asked, cocking her head to one side.

"Well, I realized that I never took you out to celebrate your promotion", he answered.

"What promotion, Colonel?", she asked, honestly confused.

"Your promotion to Major, of course", he replied with a slight nod.

"But, Sir, that was a couple of years ago', Sam said shaking her head slowly from side to side.

"Oh wow! I'm an even worse Commanding Officer than I thought then. I mean what kind of a CO doesn't take their 2IC out for a celebratory dinner when they get promoted?", Jack responded, laughing quietly.

"Sir, if you want a team dinner, you don't need an excuse, you know".

"Hmm. Well Carter it wouldn't be a team dinner. I actually thought that since it would be in honor of your promotion, it should be just you and I, since we're the only military members of SG-1. What do you say, Carter? You got plans tomorrow evening?"

Sam was so surprised by his invitation that she was speechless for a few moments. She did a great impression of a fish while trying to form a coherent sentence that wouldn't sound too enthusiastic or juvenile.

Jack mistook her reaction and mentally smacked himself in the head. He had let his emotions, and the lack of gravitational pull, impair his judgment and he had basically just asked his 2IC on a date. His self-loathing was interrupted by Sam's voice.

"Did you just ask me on a date?"

"What? No!" Jack shouted. "Definitely not a date. A date would be against the regs. Just a celebratory dinner between two colleagues", he said as he regulated his voice looking at her almost shyly.

This time Sam didn't hesitate.

"OK".

"OK?"

"OK. Where? When?"

"Your place. 19:00 hours".

She gave Jack one of her 1000 watt smiles and began to walk towards Daniel where he stood talking to T'ealc.

"Sam?", Jack called after her. She turned back towards him with a questioning look on her face.

"Wear something nice, ok?" he asked.

"Don't worry Jack. I will", Sam answered grinning. She turned towards Daniel again and this time didn't stop walking. Only then did Jack break out his 'shit-eating grin' and he mentally high-fived himself. He'd finally asked Samantha Carter out on a date and if they were to be honest, they both knew it.


	11. Not a date

**Chapter 11 – Not a date**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Sorry that this has been posted slightly later in the week than normal. I got totally slammed with real life issues this week which messed up my writing schedule. As I type this my husband is in bed in a strop as I've 'ignored' him all night with my 'head in a computer' to get this out so I hope this chapter is worth it.

* * *

Neither Sam nor Jack could remember the last time they spent the early part of a Saturday evening getting ready for a date. Not that they were going on a date! Nor could they think of a time when they questioned their actions so much while simultaneously anticipating with such hope. Even though it wasn't going to be a date!

In Jack's apartment he reminded himself that he had to keep up the pretense that this was just a dinner between colleagues which, he realized, was a little hard to do after he had blurted out that Sam should "wear something nice". He intended to mitigate that by taking her to a restaurant that was upscale while not being renowned for it's romance quotient. A place he would go with Daniel if they had something to celebrate.

'Yeah right! Who was he trying to kid?'

The conversation in his head continued as he admitted to himself that he was in fact trying to kid Sam. Ensure that she didn't think he was trying to make it into a date. He had told her it wasn't and he would make sure that it wouldn't be perceived as one.

He decided that part of the plan needed to include him not over-dressing for the occasion and he pulled his chosen attire from his closet. Khakis, pressed white shirt and dark brown blazer. No suit. No tie. He smiled to himself as he looked at the time, realizing that he would soon be picking Sam up for their "not-a-date".

Across town, Sam was putting the finishing touches to her make-up. Her mood continued to fluctuate as it had since the moment Jack had asked her to have dinner with him. She moved from elation upon realizing that he had finally asked her out, to a sobering caution that he had stressed that it wasn't a date, to optimism wondering who they thought they were kidding. It was a date. And finally back to the emotions that plagued her at that moment. A mixture of nervousness and hope.

This was her chance to show Jack what they could be like outside of the SGC. What a normal relationship could be like between them. She had dressed carefully, wanting to show Jack that she was an attractive woman when she got out of her BDU's. Yeah, he had told Dorothy that he loved her and thought she was beautiful but did that equate to him desiring her, wanting her in a physical way? She didn't need to be a genius astrophysicist to know that if that piece of the equation was missing, the chance of them having a relationship outside of superior and subordinate, just wouldn't add up.

She sprayed a little perfume in the air and stepped into the mist just as her doorbell rang. She took her time walking to the door, there was no point in showing anxiety after all. She took a deep long breath, in through her nose, out through her mouth, and opened the door.

Jack stood on her doorstep with a tentative expression on his face as he involuntarily looked the woman who faced him up and down, taking in her appearance. Almost immediately he broke into a grin and said, "You look beautiful, Sam".

And he meant it. He couldn't remember when he had ever seen her in a skirt other than her dress blues. But here she stood in a simple, demur, little black dress with nude stockings and a simple black high heel. She wore a silver necklace with a drop diamond falling from her neck with matching diamond stud earrings. Her hair was perfectly mussed, or at least that was the word Jack used to himself, and her makeup looked perfect to him. Subtle with just the right shade of pink coloring her lips. From Jack's point of view, she looked perfect – subtle, sophisticated and beautiful. Sam.

He shook his thoughts off and refocused on the woman in front of him. She now wore a smile of her own and she gently shook her head and murmured "You did say to wear something nice". He looked into her bright blue eyes shining with laughter and mischief and replied with just a little awe. "Yes, but I said nice. Not drop dead gorgeous."

Jack tried to keep his expression neutral as he mentally kicked himself for letting that slip. You are definitely not supposed to call your 2IC 'gorgeous' on a 'not-a-date'. He half turned to hide his embarrassment and quickly asked, "Should we go?" Sam nodded in agreement, grabbed her purse from the small table by the door and closed the front door behind her as she followed Jack to his truck.

He was the perfect gentleman holding her elbow as she navigated climbing into the truck in her dress and heels. She gave him the 1000 watt smile after thanking him and Jack had to restrain himself from leaning into the passenger side and stealing a kiss from her. Instead he smiled and composed himself as he walked to the driver's side, climbed in and started the engine.

They drove in what only could be called a companiable silence to the restaurant. Sam felt no need to ask him where they were going since Jack knew what kind of food she liked to eat. Jack felt no need to talk since he was enjoying too much the sight of Sam's long legs, one crossed over the other in the passenger seat, giving him a lovely view of her thigh where her dress had accidentally risen. He needed to concentrate if he were to arrive safely while committing that sight to memory.

In a matter of minutes, they pulled up outside what Sam would describe as a very very nice french bistro. It wasn't one of those restaurants where people went to get down on one knee and propose, but it was very fine just the same. It was small and reasonably intimate with subdued, but not low, lighting and tables far enough apart to ensure that someone would be unable to hear every word you said. And the best of it was that the food was reasonably priced and rumored to be excellent.

Sam had never eaten there before but she could tell that Jack had carefully chosen the spot. She knew that while it said "I wanted to take you for a nice dinner", it certainly didn't scream "Date". She smiled to herself at his subtlety.

They were quickly seated at a table in the corner, away from the window and the door and Sam got the distinct impression from the nod he gave the maitre'd, that Jack had asked for this specific table. Sam flinched slightly as she realized this meant that he was worried about someone seeing them eating together in this setting. This didn't strike her as a good sign that he wanted to pursue a relationship with her no matter her feelings. She kicked herself for getting her hopes up as she took her seat at the table.

However, she quickly relaxed once they began to look at the menu and discuss their dinner choices. They both shared such a love of decadent food that the mood quickly helped Sam to relax. For the next ninety minutes, they didn't stop talking with topics ranging from work, at least the declassified stuff, and their colleagues and friends, which for the most part meant the same thing. They ate truly luscious, rich cuisine while indulging each other with tidbits of their lives before the SGC.

Sam talked about her childhood with General Jacob Carter as her father and Jack smiled openly as he imagined the man he called 'Dad' with a 10 year old Sam trying to win a tickle fight with him. Jack related stories of the good times with Charlie and told tales of himself as a mischievous child. He looked at Sam with a twinkle in his eye as she talked of her hopes to eventually have a family of her own and her concerns about combining the SGC with children.

And so they continued through wine and dessert having a wonderfully relaxed, and slightly flirtaceous, meal that belied their respective nerves. They shared laughs about situations at work, most of which seemed to include Siler, debated politics and learned things about the other that they never knew.

Towards the end of the meal a lull came in the conversation and Jack looked Sam straight in the eye and said "I suppose I need to make a toast." Sam looked slightly confused and asked, "You do?".

"To Major Samantha Carter. Congratulations on your promotion".

Sam couldn't believe that after two hours together, having such a good time, he had to go and spoil it. Sam shook her head, frowned and said, "You know Jack, we've been working together for so many years now, that I actually view us as friends. Do you?".

"Of course I do!", he replied incredulously as if he couldn't believe she had asked such an innane question.

"And is Daniel your friend?", she continued.

"You know is he Sam. Now where are you going with this?", he said, starting to get irritated by her line of questionning.

"Well do you need an excuse to have dinner with Daniel?"

"No".

"So why do you think you need an excuse to have dinner with me?"

Jack just stared at her and then sighed, pushed his hands across his face and looked into his wine glass. He played with the stem until the light hit the glass and reflected a shimmer of red on the white tablecloth. He didn't look up as he answered.

"Because it's different and you know it".

"Because I'm a woman?"

"Because you're a woman and I'm your commanding officer. I know that it shouldn't matter but it does. For many reasons and I don't think that there's anything that you and I can do right now to change that. Now I'm sorry if what I said upset you, but is there any chance that you'll just forget it so we can continue the really great evening we were having."

Sam sighed and looked up from where she had been intently stirring the spoon in her coffee cup and slowly smiled at him, knowing that it took a lot for Jack to make the effort to stop the conversation before it got out of hand. She quietly said, "OK" and Jack broke out in a trade-mark grin.

At that moment, the waiter brought over the check that Jack had requested minutes earlier and Jack paid quickly.

"Are we ok ending our evening this way?", Jack asked tentatively taking Sam's arm as she stood up from the table.

"We're ok, Jack. And our evening isn't over yet is it?".

Jack looked away and decided that he must have misheard the intent in her statement and went straight to his truck without answering. They drove back to Sam's house in relative quiet both absorbed in their thoughts which were remarkably similar. They had thought that this was their chance. Their date. Their opportunity to see what a relationship would be like. And they both were taken aback by the comfort of their dinner. No first date awkwardness. No wondering if they would see each other again. No pressure to move fast or slow, back to one or others house for 'coffee' or nervous asking if the other wanted to see them again. Had they both made a mistake in thinking that their friendship which had grown into love could move into being 'in love'. They were very confused and it unnerved them into silence.

All too soon they pulled into Sam's driveway and Jack helped Sam out of the truck and as she stepped down he once again caught a glimpse of her toned, soft thigh. It brought out the desire in him and he didn't remove his hand from hers as he walked her to the door. She was surprised but didn't pull away finding comfort in his touch and relief from her confusion. She squeezed his hand gently as she indicated that she needed to get to her purse. She pulled out her door key and unlocked the door.

She turned back to Jack and asked gently, "Would you like to come in?".

"No, I think it's better if I don't."

Sam nodded sadly and knew that tonight was not the night to push him on his choice. However she made a spontaneous decision and leaned into Jack, brushing her lips against his. He responded immediately and the kiss deepened. Neither moved to reposition their hands to the other to continue the touch beyond the lips, as if this somehow chastened the action.

They finally broke apart when oxygen became scarce and Sam looked into Jack's eyes. She saw the desire in them and smiled slightly with satisfaction. "Goodnight, Jack", she said and turned to enter the house.

Jack hastily recovered from the encounter and reached out to grab her arm. The momentum swung her back to face him and she held her breath.

"Sam, I just didn't want you going in before telling you that I really had a great time tonight. Thank you."

She gave him one of her "Jack" smiles, turned one last time and entered the house, shutting the door behind her.


	12. Blueberry Muffins

**Chapter 12 – Blueberry Muffins**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Was I the only author who couldn't upload stories this weekend?

Anyways – sorry for the delay, the world seemed to conspire against this chapter being posted this week so I hope that it moves you at least a little further along in your quest for answers … or maybe not?

* * *

Jack woke early the next morning. He lay still, trying to figure out what was different about this day. He looked around his bedroom and everywhere his gaze fell was bright and clear. The realization hit him moments later. He'd had a great night's sleep. In fact it could be categorized as an awesome night's sleep, free of the restlessness that usually plagued him. 

Once he had arrived home the night before, having dropped Sam home and partaking in an incredible kiss, he had gone straight to bed. And he had slept in a dreamless state for … Jack checked the bedside clock.. seven hours. Jack shook his head and chuckled to himself. "That woman does wonders for me", he said out loud to no-one in particular.

Since it was a Sunday, and he wasn't due to report to the base, Jack didn't need to get up. But something drove him out of bed. A feeling that something needed to be done pulled him up and dragged him to pick up the phone. He was not one for spontaneity in his personal life but at that moment, as he lifted the receiver, he knew that he was making a good decision. He pressed # 2 on the speed dial and waited to hear the ringing on the other end.

The phone rang just once before a familiar voice answered in what could only be described as a cheery voice.

"Good morning, Jack".

'Hi Sam. You sound very cheery this morning", he replied with a grin that Sam could hear through the wires.

"So do you", Sam replied, rolling onto her side so she could look out the window at the morning sunshine.

"So … whatcha doing?" , Jack asked as he settled himself sitting up against his propped up pillows.

"When?"

"Now"

"I'm lying in bed talking to you, Jack."

"Ah Crap! I woke you."

"No. No. I was already awake. Just lying here thinking," Sam sighed.

Jack cocked him head to the side and a slight frown appeared on his forehead beforehe asked, "Happy thoughts?"

"Yeah", Sam replied smiling gently, "Happy thoughts." She paused slightly before continuing. "So, is there anything I can do for you?"

Ok Jack, he thinks, here goes nothing. "I hope so. Do you have any plans this morning?"

Sam held her breath and unconsciously crossed her fingers. Trying to sound nonchalant, she replied, "Hmm let me think. I don't believe so. No. Why do you need me to go in to the mountain?"

She had given Jack a way out as big as the Grand Canyon and he rubbed his hand over his face, beginning to question the soundness of his idea. But he already had everything planned out in his head and he truly didn't want them to lapse back into their proper CO and 2IC roles just yet. He wanted to savor the feeling that resulted from the kiss he shared with Sam the night before, and that wouldn't happen if he ordered her back to duty.

"Ah, no. That's not why I called. I wondered if you might like to come over to my place this morning and I'll make you brunch".

It was now Jack's turn to hold his breath as he waited to hear Sam's response. He had no idea where the urge to spend his Sunday morning with Sam had come from but now it was there, he prayed that she would be open to the concept.

Sam smiled to herself. Something had obviously worked right the night before for the invitation to be extended. In all the years they had worked together, he had never actually asked her to come to his house before without it being a "team event".

"I'd love that, Jack. Would you like me to bring anything with me?"

"Hmm. No, I don't think so. I have everything I need."

"Oh. Ok.", Sam said realizing that he really wanted her to come over for brunch. "Does 11:00 hours work for you?"

"Perfect see you then ." And with that Jack hung up the phone before she could come to her senses and change her mind. Little did he know that Sam was wearing an almost exact replica of the goofy grin that he wore as she realized that Jack had progressed to the "second date", the "come to my place and cook for you date", whether he realized it or not.

Back at Jack's house, however, Jack's grin faded as he realized that contrary to what he had just told Sam, he did not in fact have anything in the house for the morning he had planned. He jumped out of bed, had a two minute shower, shaved while writing a list of all the things he needed to get, and got dressed, ready to greet Sam when she arrived. He grabbed his wallet, making sure the recently written shopping list was in it. He found his keys and left the house headed for the grocery store.

* * *

When Sam arrived at 11:00 hours on the nose, Jack was cool, calm and collected. He opened the door and broke into a lazy smile and then stepped back swinging the door wide inviting her into the house. As she entered, Sam's senses were assaulted by the wonderful smell of baking and coffee. She threw Jack an inquiring look which he simply returned with a shrug. Now that Sam was standing in his entrance hall, he felt very unsure of himself. That quickly disappeared when she gave him one of "his" smiles. 

"Come on in", he said as he took her by the elbow and lead her to the kitchen. "Can I get you a coffee, Sam?"

"I'd love one", she replied and as he poured the dark black liquid from the pot into the waiting mug, she realized that without asking, he had made her coffee exactly as she liked it. She smiled slightly to herself as she thought about just how much they knew about each other that wouldn't be the norm on asecond date. It went beyond culinary likes and dislikes. It went to the fundamental core of the other. When you fought, and occasionally died, beside a person for such a long time, lived with them on base and off-world, you got to know them better than even a spouse in many regards.

For SG-1 to still want to spend time with each other when they left the mountain was testament to their friendships. For Sam and Jack to want to spend time alone together after all they had put the other through was either a miracle or a sign that there truly was something more to their relationship. Something real. Something that Sam hoped went beyond the lure of the forbidden. Beyond infatuation.

She heard a low gentle chuckle and looked up to see Jack smiling at her. "Penny for them?".

Sam sighed softly and smiled back. "Just thinking how nice this is".

"Well Sam, if you think this is nice with just a cup of coffee in your hand, well, it's going to get absolutely great in a few minutes."

Jack grabbed a set of oven mitts and opened the oven door. Expertly he pulled out a muffin pan and Sam was overwhelmed by the sight, and smell, of large, lightly browned, blueberry muffins. Her jaw dropped as he quickly plucked the hot muffins from the pan and dropped them into a waiting bread basket. He placed it on the kitchen table where Sam sat, jaw still open, and sat opposite her, only hesitating to pick up his coffee from the nearby counter.

"What?", Jack asked when Sam continued to stare. She closed her mouth so quickly that her back teeth could be heard banging against each other. "Nothing," she said and paused slightly and then continued, "well it's just, did you bake them yourself?"

"Will my answer influence whether you eat them or not?", he asked, cocking an eyebrow.

"No!", Sam exclaimed blushing furiously.

"Well then, yes I did. My Grandmother taught me to bake when I was a boy when I visited the cabin in Minnesota. I just figured that it might be nice for us to have something to tide us over while we chatted about what else we want to eat."

Sam looked at him in amazement and whispered "You really are something Jack O'Neill". He smiled at her shyly and simply said, "Thanks, you're pretty amazing yourself you know".

Surprisingly, no awkwardness followed as Sam tentatively grabbed one of the hot muffins and carefully smeared it with butter. The butter melted into it completely and Sam made pleasurable noises after she popped a piece into her mouth. Jack smirked at the sounds and the look on her face and his imagination began to wander into a less innocent direction. He quickly shook it off reminding himself that she was still his 2IC.

As it had at dinner the night before, the conversation flowed freely and both reveled in their comfort in the other. While Jack made his infamous omelet's, Sam made herself at home in the kitchen, making them refills of coffee and christening the new juice maker. They smiled often and laughed at each others comments. At one point they got serious when they discussed the recent funeral of a member of SG-6 who had died after a g'ould raid on an uninhabited planet.

They each had dated other people since their time at the SGC but had never felt such peace and contentment in another. Without ever discussing it, they knew that they would probably never find someone who they could be attracted to and happy with, while being able to discuss "what did you do at work today, honey?".

Much later, their coffeesatcold and the muffins and omelet's were long gone. The sun was getting lower in the sky and their brunch had now turned into 'afternoon tea'. Jack began to clear away the dishes and Sam got out of her chair to help. She picked up her plate and mug and reached to put them in the sink just as Jack turned to the sink with the non-stick pan. Their hands bumped and he paused, looking into her eyes.

He slowly took the crockery from her hands while keeping eye contact and placed them on the counter. He turned his body towards her and reached out his arm, puttinghis hand on her waist. The touch made her gasp and her body tingled with anticipation of his next move. She sank into the deep black pools that became Jack's eyes as he moved his attention from his eyes to her full red lips. He placed his free hand on her neck and ever so gently pulled her towards him. Jack touched his lips to hers and a bolt of electricity surged through her as he kept control of the kiss. His tongue gently pushed forward seeking entrance to her mouth.

And at that very moment Sam remembered that Jack was still her commanding officer. A man that she was never supposed to kiss. A man she was not supposed to love. A man who was not supposed to love her.

And she panicked!

She pulled away from him and staggered backwards. "Jack … I'm so sorry. I just … I just can't do this. Like this. I'm sorry. I have to go".

She ran towards the hallway, tears welling up in her eyes. She grabbed her purse from beside the front door and rushed outside to her car. She was already behind the wheel by the time Jack reached the front door. He rushed outside only to watch Sam drive away.

"Ah, Crap!", he yelled as he slammed his front door, kicking it once for good measure. He looked around the kitchen at the evidence of the day and wondered what the hell had just gone wrong.


	13. Worth the risk

**Chapter 13 – Worth the risk**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – I am so grateful for all the reviews I received and that is why you are seeing a new chapter in the same week!

So just imagine … I might get another one out quickly if you send me some feedback on this extra-special IM only chapter?

* * *

Scarecrow – Hi Dorothy! 

Dorothy – Hi. I'm glad you're here. I didn't think you'd show tonight.

Scarecrow – Why?

Dorothy – No reason really. Just had a strange day and I figured the way my luck was going, you wouldn't be here when I logged on tonight.

Scarecrow – Do you want to talk about it?

Dorothy – No, it's ok. So what's going on with you tonight?

Scarecrow – Actually I had what could be called a "strange" day too. In fact I was hoping you'd be able to help me.

Dorothy – Me? Why?

Scarecrow – Why not?

Dorothy – I mean why do you need me to help you? I thought you didn't even want to speak to me anymore.

Scarecrow – Yeah. Sorry about that. If you don't want to talk to me after what I said before I understand.

Scarecrow – But I could really do with some friendly advice right now and before you were so free to give it, so I just thought …

Dorothy – Sorry. As I said, I had a strange day. Sure. What do you need advice about?

Scarecrow – Well remember the other day when I told you about the woman of my dreams?

Dorothy – Yeah. What's her name again?

Scarecrow – Samantha

Dorothy – Right. And?

Scarecrow – Well. I asked her out to dinner.

Dorothy – And?

Scarecrow – We went to dinner.

Dorothy – I thought you said she was attached?

Scarecrow – No. I said that she couldn't be attached to me right now.

Dorothy – But she went to dinner with you?

Scarecrow – Yes. Look, I told you it's complicated. Can we just move past this so I can tell you what happened?

Dorothy – OK but I want you to explain to me later what's so complicated about this relationship. OK?

Scarecrow – OK

Dorothy – So what happened at dinner?

Scarecrow – Well for a start she looked amazing.

Dorothy – God you are such a man! You always go for the looks first.

Scarecrow – I'm not going to apologize for that. In fact I think she'd be flattered that I'm telling you how gorgeous I thought she looked.

Dorothy – I bet she would!

Scarecrow –Can I continue?

Dorothy – Knock yourself out.

Scarecrow – So we went to this really nice French place and it was great. We chatted about everything under the sun. Stuff we would never talk about at work. But we also talked about work which is something I can usually never do. You know military clearance and all that!

Scarecrow – It was so comfortable.

Dorothy – Uh oh! That doesn't sound good. No sparks? No attraction?

Scarecrow – I didn't say that. There were plenty of sparks and for your information there's been attraction from the first day I laid eyes on her.

Scarecrow – I just meant that there was no awkwardness.

Dorothy – Cool. So you had some nice food and good conversation. Sounds like a great first date.

Scarecrow – Yeah, it does, doesn't it? But it wasn't a date.

Dorothy – Huh?

Scarecrow – Not a date.

Dorothy – It's complicated, right?

Scarecrow – Right

Dorothy – So what do you need my advice about?

Scarecrow – Well after dinner I drove her home and she kissed me.

Dorothy – She kissed you?

Scarecrow – Yup.

Dorothy – Did you kiss her back?

Scarecrow – Yup.

Dorothy – OK. Maybe I'm just stupid but I don't see what the problem is. You had a great time at dinner. When you dropped her home you enjoyed … hold on – you did enjoy it right?

Scarecrow – Hell yes!

Dorothy – OK so you enjoyed a kiss. I really don't see what the problem is here.

Scarecrow – Today she told me that she couldn't kiss me.

Dorothy – Huh? What did I miss? What do you mean today?

Scarecrow – I asked her to come to my place so I could make her brunch.

Dorothy – Hmm. A second date!

Scarecrow – It wasn't a date.

Dorothy – Yeah! Yeah! Go on.

Scarecrow – So she came over and I cooked for her and we had a really great day.

Dorothy – Ok. I'm really happy for you but now I'm just getting frustrated. Why do you need my advice? Everything is obviously working out fine.

Scarecrow – Hey. Can I get a little patience from you while I'm telling my story?

Dorothy – Fine.

Scarecrow – So she came over to my place late this morning. We spent hours just hanging out, relaxing, chatting, eating. You know the usual having brunch kind of stuff. Then we finally got around to cleaning up, putting dishes in the sink and we bumped off each other and I kissed her.

Dorothy – You kissed her?

Scarecrow – I kissed her.

Dorothy – Did she kiss you back?

Scarecrow – At first, but then she pulled away and then literally ran away.

Dorothy – Just like that? Did she say anything?

Scarecrow- Not really. She just said that she couldn't do it, grabbed her stuff and left. I went after her but she just got in her car and drove away.

Dorothy – So you've no idea why she would have rushed off?

Scarecrow- Nope. None at all.

Dorothy – Really? You've absolutely no clue?

Scarecrow – I just said I didn't.

Dorothy – Hmm. Well what about this whole "it's complicated" thing? What about the fact that she can't be "attached" to you right now? Care to explain that, since, just maybe, that might have something to do with her reaction.

Scarecrow – You think?

Dorothy – Maybe.

Scarecrow – OK. You come from a military family right? So do you know what the fraternization regulations are?

Dorothy – I think so. Basically you're not supposed to have an inappropriate relationship between two people in the same chain of command. Is that right?

Scarecrow – Close enough. And that's it in a nutshell.

Dorothy – What is?

Scarecrow – What makes it complicated.

Dorothy – The frat regs? Is this woman in the same chain of command as you ?

Scarecrow – Yes she is.

Dorothy – Oh, ok. But that's not impossible to deal with. I mean can't one of you just transfer to another unit within the base.

Scarecrow – Unfortunately, it would actually mean one of us doing something a little bit more radical than that. I'm the 2IC of the Command within which we work so some may argue that the only way she would no longer be under my command would be for her to transfer out of our entire command.

Dorothy – And you don't think she would be willing to do that?

Scarecrow – It doesn't matter. I would never want her to do that. I would never ask her to do that. She is one of the most incredible soldiers I've ever served with and as I told you before she's an absolute genius.

Scarecrow – What I'm trying to say is this – she is essential to the work we do and none of my wants or needs would justify taking her away from that.

Dorothy – What about HER wants and needs?

Scarecrow - Same thing. Irrelevant.

Dorothy – OK. So what about you? Could you do something different?

Scarecrow – Unfortunately, no.

Dorothy – You don't want to?

Scarecrow – Once again, it's irrelevant. I've been told by the powers that be that I won't be given permission to transfer, or for that matter even retire, for a long time to come.

Dorothy – You already looked into this?

Scarecrow – Yep. I told you that I love her. I would do just about anything for a chance to be with her. Another chance at happiness. Unfortunately Uncle Sam isn't so concerned about my happiness right now.

Dorothy – Oh. Wow! That's really … big.

Dorothy – Does you CO know about this request?

Scarecrow – Yep.

Dorothy – Shit! Does he know the reason behind your request?

Scarecrow – Well if you're asking if I said to him "George, I need to transfer or retire because I'm in love with Samantha Carter and I want a chance to find out if this thing between us can truly work?", then no.

Dorothy – So what did you tell him?

Scarecrow – That it was for personal reasons.

Dorothy – Good.

Scarecrow – Good?

Dorothy – Yes. I mean it would get you in trouble if you told him that – frat regs and all.

Scarecrow – Maybe but it doesn't matter now since I was turned down anyway which makes everything that happened this weekend even harder. It was all so right. With Sam I mean. It was how things should be. Us together. Happy, able to get together, if you know what I mean.

Dorothy – Yeah, I think I do.

Scarecrow – But she ran away. From me. From my house. From my kiss.

Scarecrow – I don't understand it. I'm just so confused right now.

Dorothy – Did you ever think that's maybe how she feels right now too?

Scarecrow - Confused?

Dorothy – Yeah. And maybe scared too. You told me that if you begin a relationship that it would be against the regs.

Scarecrow – Yep.

Dorothy – So maybe that's what she's scared of. Maybe she had a wonderful time too and realized how perfect it could all be. But then she remembered that she wasn't supposed to feel that way, act that way … and she panicked.

Scarecrow – You think that could be it?

Dorothy – I think it's very plausible.

Scarecrow –So what do I do now?

Dorothy – I'm not sure. She did kiss you after dinner the other night so she definitely has feelings for you. And you said that you love her.

Scarecrow – I do love her. Very much.

Dorothy – So maybe she's just concerned about beginning a relationship with you at the expense of one, or both, of your careers while you don't know if it's a long term thing. Maybe she needs to be certain that it's for keeps, the whole works, before she would want it to become public.

Scarecrow – You think that could be it?

Dorothy – Sure. If I were her that's how I'd feel. I'd want to be sure that for both of you it wasn't just infatuation or worse, just a desire for what's not allowed, before I'd want to make it public and suffer the consequences.

Scarecrow – Assuming you're right, what's the alternative?

Dorothy – Maybe it's not simply all or nothing? Maybe there's something in-between?

Scarecrow – Maybe but will she think that there's a grey area? Will she think it's worth the risk?

Dorothy – I honestly don't know what she would think. But I'll tell you this. Based on everything you've told me about your circumstances and how you feel about her, if I were her, it would be worth the risk to find out if you were her road to true happiness.

Scarecrow – I'd really like to believe you're right.

Dorothy – Just sleep on what I said ok?

Scarecrow – OK. Thanks. Chat tomorrow at 10?

Dorothy – Yep. Goodnight Scarecrow.

Scarecrow – Goodnight Dorothy.


	14. Well that didn't go as planned

**Chapter 14 – Well that didn't go as planned…**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Firstly sorry. For a lot of things. This is late and it's short. I am ill and have been all week to the extent I've been laid up in bed for most of the week. But I actually received an e-mail from someone today (Poz you know who you are!) that kicked me to write this. I hope it gives you a little fix that tides you over until I'm back on my feet. I also hope that it's not horrible since I have a fever and could be writing total rubbish - so read at your own risk.

* * *

It was truly amazing how Colonel Jack O'Neill and Major Samantha Carter were so in sync sometimes. Amazing because at other times they were completely oblivious to what the other was thinking. That morning could be defined as the former in addition to the latter. 

They both arrived at the mountain early that Monday, knowing that they needed to talk. That they needed to clear the air before their "work day" began. And so it came as no surprise that they ran into each other halfway between his office and her lab. Literally.

"Omph!"

"Crap! Oh God! Carter, are you ok?", Jack said as he bent to get a better look at the woman he had just bumped into.

"Yes, Sir. Just a little winded.", Sam replied in a breathy voice. She looked up into Jack's concerned face and smiled, glad that the ice had been broken between them. Although for the sake of her bruised ribs she wished that it had been in a slightly gentler manner.

"I was coming to see you", she said almost shyly.

"That's funny, I was about to say the same to you", Jack muttered as he cocked his head slightly. "Were your next words going to be "we need to talk"?", he asked.

"Actually no", she replied looking contrite. "They were going to be "I'm really sorry" ".

Jack couldn't hide the look of surprise that crossed his face but he recovered quickly saying, "Not here. Let's grab some coffee and go topside, ok?"

"Yes sir. That's fine".

They made their way in silence to the commissary where any on-looker would have been surprised to see Colonel O'Neill making a cup of coffee and handing it to Major Carter with a bashful smile. He made a second cup for himself and since there were no on-lookers to be found, jerked his head skywards to encourage Sam to join him at the elevators.

They rode in silence each sipping their coffee fully aware of the security camera's that were following their every movement in the confined space. When they reached the surface they walked away from the base towards the sanctuary of the woods with not a word between them. Each knowing instinctively that they needed to get away from the line of sight of the SGC, if not for privacy, then at least so they could be Sam and Jack and not Carter and the Colonel.

Without missing a stride, Jack broke the silence.

"Did I do something wrong? Did I upset you?"

"No, Jack. It was me. I don't know how to explain it other than I panicked. I was having such a nice time. It was all so comfortable, as if we did it every Sunday. And I was able to keep kidding myself that it was kind of normal that we would be doing that until you kissed me. And then the bubble burst and I just didn't know what to do. I mean we kissed at your sink and broke the regs."

"But we stood at you door and broke them in full view of the world the night before!", Jack cried out incredulously.

"I know. I know. And I know I started that. Look I'm not trying to justify my behavior, I'm just trying to apologize for it", Sam said pleading evident in her voice.

"So you're not mad at me or anything, are you Sam?", he replied bending slightly making eye contact with her.

"No. Really I'm not. I'm just mad at the situation and how helpless I feel about it. I honestly had a great time with you this weekend and I think things have become a little more difficult for us if we're to be honest."

"How so?", Jack smirked as he tried to make light of the situation. However, Sam obviously didn't pick up the nuance and responded in earnest.

"Well maybe I'm way off base here but I think our relationship changed this weekend", she answered hesitantly, hoping that she wasn't making a mistake by leading the conversation down this particular path.

"Ya think?" he threw back at her.

"Yeah I do and now I don't know what we should do about it", she replied unable to look him in the eye as she spoke. Praying that he would take the lead. Make the move. Say anything to show that maybe he wanted to continue their relationship on the path that it was taking outside of the SGC.

"We have to "do" something about it?" Jack asked, frowning at her, honestly not knowing why she was even still talking about it.

All he knew was that he had kissed a junior officer under his command who had freaked out and ran out on him. All he knew was that he had broken the regs. It didn't matter that it was with the woman he loved more than life itself. He just wanted to shut it "back in the room" that it had snuck out of and stay there. He knew that Sam cared about him, but he cared about her more than he was supposed to and he wasn't going to ruin her career over the silly dreams of a has been soldier. His confusion showed on his face and Sam took it to mean that he wasn't interested in pursuing something now he was face to face with the decision. In person with the opportunity to make it all happen.

She'd messed up her one chance to make this happen and there was nothing she could do to fix it. He wasn't willing to take the risk even though she had laid it all out there for him.

She didn't know if she was more angry at herself for hoping, or at him for dashing that hope. There was nothing else she could do, so she lashed out at him snapping, "No, Colonel, I suppose we don't. Let's forget about it. Actually let's forget about the whole weekend. It never happened. Ok?."

And before the last word even reached Jack's ears she had stormed off towards the SGC.

Jack knew that he should follow her and find out why she was so pissed with him, however, he knew they couldn't afford to make a 'scene'. So he watched her go, head held high, determined to maintain her pride. Once again he found himself cursing his lack of ability to tell a woman what he was actually feeling. However, more than that he found himself confused at Samantha Carter's actions.

He began the walk back to the SGC, slowly, to ensure that Sam rode down in the elevator before he reached it. He needed to think and needed to do it sooner than later if they were going to be able to continue to work together. He shook his head and laughed at the irony of the situation as he realized just how wise those frat regs really were in the big scheme of things.


	15. And then it dawned

**Chapter 15 – And then it dawned**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Firstly, I hope all of the folks here in the US had a wonderful Thanksgiving (is your tummy still full?) and I hope that everyone else around the world simply had great week. Secondly, thanks to everyone who sent get well wishes – unfortunately the little bug(ger) that got me doesn't seem to want to leave so I'm still a little under the weather.

Finally, I promise that once I feel better, I'll rewrite the chapters that I have written while ill if they are sub-par. I just wanted to keep the plot moving rather than waiting!

* * *

Sam and Jack avoided each other all day. She stayed in her lab the entire time she was on base, which in itself was not so unusual. However, Jack could only be found in his office doing paperwork, which anyone could tell you, was extremely unusual. Or at least he told people that he was doing paperwork. 

He was in fact staring at the wall wondering what he was missing. He recognized that he was pretty dense where affairs of the heart were concerned but he was well and truly perplexed by Carter's outburst that morning. What the hell did she want from him? She knew the regs didn't allow for them to be together romantically, not that he had ever shown much deference towards the regs for a great deal of his military career.

But he knew that Carter did hold the regs up to be adhered to, even those with which she didn't necessarily agree. She made that very clear after the zay'tarc incident when she asked for their feelings to be kept in the room. He also knew how difficult it was for a woman in the military, especially for someone so young who held such a high rank. He'd heard one too many rumors in regards to his and Carter's "relationship" and he didn't want to give anyone ammunition to use against her.

If only she could feel the same as a woman like 'Dorothy'. That a relationship with him would be "worth the risk". Worth exploring the connection they felt in private, without the pressures of making life altering career decisions based on a heart felt wish that this was their 'happily ever after'. Jack knew in his heart that they were meant to be and, as he had explained to Dorothy, he had already tried to give up his career for her. He knew that the frat regs weren't going to change, at least not in his lifetime, and in most cases he felt that they shouldn't. An exception shouldn't be made for him.

If only he knew how Sam felt. She obviously cared for him but how much was she willing to risk for him. He wasn't naïve and, having been married and divorced, he knew that sometimes love just wasn't enough to make a relationship work. He had never actually sat down with Sam and asked her what she wanted from life but he knew she had worked way too hard in her professional life to give it up for a man. And an over the hill man at that!

He loved her so much but would never want to hurt her. Ironic really, he thought, since that was precisely what it seemed he was now doing. He had been a fool to get his hopes up and knew that he had to come up with a way to re-bury their feelings or else risk the future of SG-1.

Meanwhile, in her lab Sam was silently fuming at herself. Why the hell had she over-reacted like that she would never know. If he wasn't suspicious about her behavior before, he certainly would be now. Jack had shown himself to be relatively backwards in the romance department but this was getting beyond the ridiculous!

Her plan to have 'Dorothy' get to know him better had backfired. Her 'Plan B', which involved having Dorothy give him advice had maybe gotten her a couple of good meals but had it really been worth it? She had earned herself two amazing, but heart-breaking kisses, which left her for the first time truly understanding what she was missing by not having a romantic relationship with Jack O'Neill.

She found herself contemplating the Tennyson quote "_It's better to have loved and lost, than to have never loved at all"._ And as she sat staring at the piece of technology on her desk, she was erring on the side of "never loved at all". With that in mind, she made a rash decision. She was no longer going to subject herself to either relationship, or the hurt that she knew they would bring her. Neither the Jack/Sam one nor the Scarecrow/Dorothy one.

She couldn't bare to face Jack that night so she would apologize in the morning again and would respectfully request that they return to their usual professional relationship. That night she would log on one last time as Dorothy to day goodbye to Scarecrow. She couldn't dream of hearing one more gut wrenching confession of love from him and knew she needed to make a clean break. She would always know that he loved her but wasn't willing to take it any further than an unrequited yearning.

Sam left the mountain on the dot of 18:00 hours without having seen Jack since they argued that morning.

Around thirty minutes later, T'ealc decided that it was simply too unsettling for him that O'Neill had been in his office since early that morning. He found it even more perplexing that he didn't take him up on his offer of cake in the commissary in the middle of the afternoon, something that could always be relied upon if they were on base.

He knocked firmly on the Colonel's office door and entered with determination once he had heard the familiar "It's open!".

"Good Evening, O'Neill", he said opening the conversation with his typical sense of formality.

Jack looked up with a quizzical expression. As usual he could discern nothing from his friend's face so he simply said "Hi'ya T. What's up?"

"You have been in your office for a great deal of time today," the Jaffa answered without breaking a smile.

Jack had no idea where T'ealc was heading with the conversation so he merely responded by shrugging his shoulders and saying "Yeah, I know. Paperwork!"

"I see. Would you care to join Cassandra Frasier and I this evening for "dinner and a movie", asked T'ealc, which, with his sheer bulk, seemed more of a demand than an invitation.

Never the less, Jack was in no mood to hang out watching sci-fi with a couple of aliens.

"I'm sorry T, but I'm really busy and …"

"O'Neill. I know that Cassandra Frasier would enjoy your company since you have been unable to visit her in quite some time," the hint of irritability audible in his voice.

Jack put down the pen he was holding, but did not look up to look at the face of his visitor.

"Well … what movie are you guys gonna watch?"

"'The Wizard of Oz'. Cassandra received it as a present from Major Carter for her birthday and I have yet to have the opportunity to view this film. I am told that it is a classic", T'ealc replied with sincerity.

Jack's head snapped up to look his friend directly in the eye.

"Carter gave Cassie a copy of 'The Wizard of Oz'?", he asked barely hiding the sinking feeling that was beginning to overcome him.

"Indeed. She told her that it had always been one of her favorites".

And with that one sentence, everything became sickeningly crystal clear for Jack.

"Look T. I'll pass for tonight. Ok", mumbled the Colonel, trying to contain the emotions that were now writhing around within him.

T'ealc pretended not to notice the distress that was now evident on O'Neill's features.

"As you wish, O'Neill. I will leave you to your … paperwork".

And without skipping a beat, he left, closing the door gently behind him just as Jack began typing frantically on his computer keyboard as if his whole life depended upon it.

As he was walked down the corridor, T'ealc heard a cry of "Son of a bitch!" and a bang, followed by a sharp crack, as something shattered against the Colonel's office door. He paused for a moment, raised an eyebrow, shook his head, and continued on his way.


	16. The Fury

**Chapter 16 – The fury**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – I cannot believe how many people were waiting for Jack to figure it out … but he did (Can we all say "Thank goodness"!). Now for the fall-out. This chap is just the beginning though. There is much more to come and I promise I will try to get the next little bit of the story out sooner than later.

* * *

Jack sat at his desk staring at the shards of pottery lying on the floor in front of the door. He hadn't intended to throw it, but when he saw the mug sitting on his desk mocking him, the urge to throw it had become overwhelming. "World's #1 Boss" Huh! Obviously Carter didn't think that anymore, his brain screamed in the split seconds after the information he was seeking appeared on his computer screen. Maybe she never had. It was at that point he picked up the mug and threw it as hard as he could against the metal door. 

The words just hadn't been there. He had searched the profile of "Colonel O'Neill" that he'd saved before Carter had deleted it from the public domain. But there was no mention of it.

_Screen Name - Colonel Jack O'Neill_

_Career - Military_

_Hobbies - Music, Classical, Rock; Sports - Hockey, Fishing; Travel; Movies; Meeting people online for romance._

But he distinctly remembered her saying it. He'd asked her what she thought they had in common and she'd replied in her IM message.

_**Dorothy -** Well you're looking for romance and one of the things we have in common is … the Wizard of Oz._

There was no way that Dorothy could have known that since it wasn't in his profile and the fear that had hit him minutes earlier was confirmed. Carter was Dorothy.

Now minutes after the initial adrenaline rush had passed, Jack found his head in his hands, muttering to himself. "Why? Why did she do it?" Does she hate me that much, he thought. Am I just a game to her? Someone to manipulate for kicks? He couldn't believe she was that much of a bitch but the facts were pointing to a different conclusion. She had tricked him. Used him. Lied to him. She was deceitful and he was a fool.

He thought back to the initial contact with Dorothy. Did Carter start this because he wasn't playing with her IM toy? Was she actually trying to make a point to him? Un-frigging-believable!

The pieces of the puzzle had been there all along if only he'd been paying attention – military brat, astronomy, engineering, travel, computers and technology, knowledge of the frat regs. Damn it.

"Ah Crap!", he yelled out as he remembered all of the private things he had told "Dorothy" about his feelings for Carter. He began pacing his office liked a caged animal, back and forth, as he recreated the IM chats in his head. Snippets of their on-line conversations flitted through his mind, words taunting him for his stupidity.

_**Scarecrow –** She is incredibly beautiful and her eyes sparkle and when she smiles at me – Wow! She has this smile that I've convinced myself she reserves just for me. And when she smiles that smile, she captures my heart. And it happens every time. And I just fall more and more in love with her._

Oh my God, he thought, as he realized that he had told Sam out straight, in writing, that he loved her. He reached the edge of his office and turned in the opposite direction.

_**Scarecrow – **The only way I can describe her is as a complete genius. She is so smart that it's hard to comprehend. In fact she is so smart, and her ideas are so incredible, that even I have a hard time understanding her and I have two Masters degrees._

Well I'm sure her already inflated ego just loved that, he thought as he walked to the other side of the room. He had begun to clench and unclench his fists in an almost rhythmic way in time with the dialogue replaying in his head.

_**Dorothy –** Oh OK. So does your true love know how smart you are?_

_**Scarecrow –** No. Because I like it when she explains things to me. Her eyes light up and she gets so excited as if she's learning about them herself for the first time. And it obviously makes her really happy and I'm happy when she's happy._

She had sat at the other end of a computer screen and egged him on, drawing out feeling after feeling, emotion after emotion, compliment after compliment. Could she have been doing it to simply stroke her own ego? Was she that dysfunctional that she would be content if he was the fall out of her plan as long as her self-confidence was flying high? She had gone as far as having him spell it all out in a nice simple terms for her so she could be one hundred percent clear that it was she that he held in such high esteem, he remembered.

_**Scarecrow **– Well remember the other day when I told you about the woman of my dreams?_

_**Dorothy **– Yeah. What's her name again?_

_**Scarecrow **– Samantha_

Fishing for compliments …

_**Scarecrow **– I think she'd be flattered that I'm telling you how gorgeous I thought she looked._

Again and again.

_**Scarecrow **– I didn't say that. There were plenty of sparks and for your information there's been attraction from the first day I laid eyes on her._

He had now made a dozen laps of his office and turned once more, his steps becoming longer while his breathing became more ragged. The anger was starting to take a toll on his body and he began to lose control of some coordination. But he could not stop pacing.

He caught sight of a photograph of him with General Hammond and a memory triggered within him.

_**Scarecrow** – I've been told by the powers that be that I won't be given permission to transfer, or for that matter even retire, for a long time to come._

_**Dorothy** – You already looked into this?_

_**Scarecrow** – Yep. I told you that I love her. I would do just about anything for a chance to be with her. Another chance at happiness. Unfortunately Uncle Sam isn't so concerned about my happiness right now._

_**Dorothy** – Oh. Wow! That's really … big._

_**Dorothy** – Does you CO know about this request?_

_**Scarecrow** – Yep._

_**Dorothy** – Shit! Does he know the reason behind your request?_

_**Scarecrow** – Well if you're asking if I said to him "George, I need to transfer or retire because I'm in love with Samantha Carter and I want a chance to find out if this thing between us can truly work?", then no._

_**Dorothy** - Good_

Good? That bitch! She was more worried about protecting herself than thinking of his happiness. Jack's face flushed as his disgust in himself grew. The realization that it was his fault that his situation had escalated. That he was too much of an emotional screw up not to realize that he was being played by a woman he had known for years. Correction. A woman he had thought he had known for years. Obviously someone he had not known at all. Definitely someone he could never trust again in any circumstance. The days of the happy family SG-1 was over and he would never forgive her for that.

The adrenaline pumped through his veins as he refocused and began to obsess on the belief that he had loved a woman who had never truly cared for him. A woman who thought so little of him to toy with his most intimate feelings. To laugh at him while he divulged secrets that he had held precious in his heart. His eyes filled with angry tears and utter hopelessness.

His pacing reached the wall once again but this time he did not turn to resume his stride. Instead he stopped, pulled back his arm and smashed his balled up fist into the concrete wall.


	17. Trying to tell me all along

**Chapter 17 – Trying to tell me all along**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Firstly , thanks for all of the great reviews I received for the last chapter – it really made my week.

Secondly, for those of you who questioned Jack's reaction in the last chapter, I wanted to let you know that I spoke to a number of male friends, including my husband, to gauge their reaction to Jack's predicament which is the basis from which I wrote. But Jack's thought process wasn't over …

* * *

To Jack it may have seemed like an eternity of anger and heart-break but in fact only six minutes had passed between the time that Teal'c left the office and Jack threw his fist into a wall. 

The pain coursed through him as the sensation of bone hitting concrete triggered the nerve endings in his hand to send a message to his brain. He let out a strangled cry, grabbed his now throbbing hand, leant against the aforementioned wall and slid down to the floor. Using his 'good' hand, he rubbed it across his face up towards his hairline and ran his fingers roughly through his hair. He settled with his hands clasped together resting on his legs which were drawn up to his chest. His chin hung low as he fought hard to keep back the tears that had formed in his eyes, now caused not by anger but by pain. It was a toss-up whether the pain was more physical or emotional at that moment and the feelings that Jack experienced were overwhelming.

A single tear began the journey down his cheek and he scrubbed at it furiously, rubbing it out of existence. He wasn't a man who easily cried, but he had been on such an emotional roller-coaster over the last few weeks that it had all become too much for him. He had never felt older while realizing that age was irrelevant when you could still have your heart trampled whether you were fifty or fifteen.

How could he have been so misguided, he asked himself.

Jack cocked his head to one side, winced with the pain in his hand, and spoke the words again in his mind. How could I have been so misguided?

"How could I have been so misguided?", Jack said aloud as a frown formed on his face. He screwed his brow in concentration and tried to block out the burning emanating from the raw skin on his knuckles. He knew that he was a smart man and even if he accepted that Carter had manipulated the situation, he couldn't have simply imagined that she reciprocated at least some feelings of tenderness towards him. He was not that bad of a judge of character and he'd had a lot of time to get to know the woman who was Samantha Carter.

He remembered his confrontation with her on PX3-422 as if it were a flashback in his mind. He had asked her why she had set up the instant message profile and she had looked directly at him, pure despondency overwhelming her features and dampness blurring her vision. She had sniffed like an upset child and spoke quietly. "You kept saying you wanted me to get a life and it made me realize that you needed to get a life too. I was tired and not thinking straight and I thought that this might help. I'm sorry if I went about it all wrong. Can you forgive me?"

Could she have been trying to tell him something? Had she truly been trying to help him? To guide him to "get a life"?

He leant his head back to rest against the wall, raised his eyes to the ceiling and went back over their instant message conversations once again, this time searching for indications of her feelings. He thought back to their discussions regarding what they wanted in life, a discussion she had started and had been more than willing to disclose her feelings on.

_**Dorothy –** Seriously. I want it all. I want the man. The children. The career. The happiness. As I said, I want it all._

_**Scarecrow –** But what happens when you can't have it all_

He chuckled slightly to himself as he remembered her answer, determination countering his negativity.

_**Dorothy –** You make it happen. Whatever it takes you get it._

_**Scarecrow –** You think it's that easy_

_**Dorothy –** No but you have to find a way to make it that easy_

But what was her reaction to him telling 'Dorothy' that he loved Sam? He chewed his lip as a tried to remember her response. If his recollection was correct, she hadn't responded directly but instead had given him an answer that he had interpreted as being flippant at the time.

_**Scarecrow –** Do you know how hard it is to love someone and no be able to be with them?_

_**Dorothy –** Actually I do have some experience with that, yes._

He wondered, with growing hope, if she had been referring to him. Jack sat up a little straighter and moved his elbows onto his knees leaning forward, subconsciously feeling that this position would help the memories flow.

He concentrated hoping to find other instances that would explain her behavior and as he did he recalled their IM session after Sam's 'brunch and run' and one very important fact about that particular conversation. He had been the one to initiate the discussion about Sam. Not Dorothy. In fact, he had just about begged for her to give him advice which she had obviously been hesitant to give. God damn it, he thought, as he came to the conclusion that 'Dorothy' had shied away from talking to him about 'Sam'. He had pushed her into it. Maybe she hadn't been manipulating the situation. Maybe she'd simply been doing as she was asked by a friend in desperate need of advice.

Giving advice, albeit with a little more insight than she should have had. What an idiot he'd been. She'd actually been telling him exactly what had been bothering her, why she'd fled their intimate time together and he just couldn't see it.

_**Dorothy **– Did you ever think that's maybe how she feels right now too?_

_**Scarecrow** - Confused?_

_**Dorothy** – Yeah. And maybe scared too. You told me that if you begin a relationship that it would be against the regs._

_**Scarecrow **– Yep._

_**Dorothy** – So maybe that's what she's scared of. Maybe she had a wonderful time too and realized how perfect it could all be. But then she remembered that she wasn't supposed to feel that way, act that way … and she panicked._

_**Scarecrow** – You think that could be it?_

_**Dorothy **– I think it's very plausible._

What else could she have done at that very moment. Confessed? Admitted there and then, after the weekend that they'd had together, that she was Sam. Would he have done any different at that point if he were in her shoes? He surprised himself by acknowledging that he honestly wasn't sure. He had been in many undercover situations where he had unintentionally hurt those that he was actually trying to protect. Sam had even been a victim of one of his undercover ops. Could that have been how this started for her? As a recon mission? Data gathering? Something that his actions had somehow taken a little too far by asking her out on a date? Correction. Two dates.

_**Scarecrow** –So what do I do now?_

_**Dorothy** – I'm not sure. She did kiss you after dinner the other night so she definitely has feelings for you. And you said that you love her._

_**Scarecrow** – I do love her. Very much._

A slight smile graced his lips and his frown began to dissipate as he absorbed the meaning of the words she had typed to him just the night before. "She definitely has feelings for you". He nodded to himself. He wasn't totally clueless after all. But why did she bail out on him if she felt something for him? He shook his head as he grasped the fact that she'd told him why in the same conversation.

_**Dorothy** – So maybe she's just concerned about beginning a relationship with you at the expense of one, or both, of your careers while you don't know if it's a long term thing. Maybe she needs to be certain that it's for keeps, the whole works, before she would want it to become public._

_**Scarecrow** – You think that could be it?_

_**Dorothy** – Sure. If I were her that's how I'd feel. I'd want to be sure that for both of you it wasn't just infatuation or worse, just a desire for what's not allowed, before I'd want to make it public and suffer the consequences._

And then he had to think about their conversation that morning. It had seemed to start off so well as if they were definitely on the same page. He'd thought that the discomfort from the day before was gone and that maybe they would be able to finally move forward. But then it went down hill so fast once they got talking. He remembered that she'd said,_ "Well maybe I'm way off base here but I think our relationship changed this weekend"_, and he's said something stupid like _"Ya think?"_.

What the heck had she said then, he wondered _"Yeah I do and now I don't know what we should do about it"_, she'd responded and he'd countered with a dismissive remark. _"We have to "do" something about it?"_

Crap! That probably hadn't been the best thing to say, he realized, which probably explained why Sam had reacted the way she had. She had shot him an icy glare and with a bitter tone had snapped back at him.

"_No, Colonel, I suppose we don't. Let's forget about it. Actually let's forget about the whole weekend. It never happened. Ok?."_

But what had Sam wanted him to do 'about it'? What did she expect that he should do? For that matter, what the heck could he do about their situation? She knew that he'd tried to resign and that hadn't worked. So what was the alternative?

_**Scarecrow **– Assuming you're right, what's the alternative?_

_**Dorothy **– Maybe it's not simply all or nothing? Maybe there's something in-between?_

_**Scarecrow** – Maybe but will she think that there's a grey area? Will she think it's worth the risk?_

_**Dorothy **– I honestly don't know what she would think. But I'll tell you this. Based on everything you've told me about your circumstances and how you feel about her, if I were her, it would be worth the risk to find out if you were her road to true happiness._

The words ricocheted around the room as he spoke them out loud very slowly.

"If … I … were … her".

A smile began to spread across Jack's face as he finally realized what Sam had been trying to tell him all along.


	18. His Yellow Brick Road

**Chapter 18 – His Yellow Brick Road**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – Once again – thanks to everyone who took the time to review. Your notes inspire me to keep writing and in some cases help me figure out where I'm going. I really hope you like this chapter, so without further ado …

* * *

Jack sat at his desk and glanced once again at the clock on the wall. Yep, it was two minutes after he'd looked the last time. 9:52. Time was officially dragging and he wished the minutes away. He'd finally made his decision a few minutes prior and he was determined to stick to it. Cool! It had only taken him three hours of contemplation, retrospection and procrastination to get to that point but he was proud of himself none the less. 

In that time he had finally given in and walked, trying his best to hide his injured hand, to the infirmary. The pain had become steadily worse and he was worried that his anger had resulted in a broken hand. Luck was with him and Dr. Frasier was not on duty that evening. He smiled to himself thanking his stars that she was at home supervising Cassie and Teal'c's "dinner and a movie".

As such, Jack had his hand x-rayed in relative peace with no prying questions from the Doctor who was on call. As he sat on the gurney waiting for the results to come back, he had once again focused on the problem at hand. What was he to do about Sam? Should he simply call her now and tell her outright that he knew she was Dorothy? Go to her house and tell her face to face? Or should he make her suffer a little bit? Give her a taste of her own Instant Message medicine maybe?

He pondered these questions, playing out scenario after scenario in his head until the Doctor arrived at his bedside a couple of hours later. He was relieved to hear that his hand wasn't broken, simply heavily bruised. He knew that at his age it took longer for bones to knit back together and it was bad enough that he would need to explain swollen bruised knuckles let alone a cast.

After he'd been given a couple of pain killers, he hopped off the gurney and thanked the Doctor for his tact. With a spring in his step, Jack walked back to his office, rather than driving to his house. It would have been cutting it way too close to try to make it home in time. Which is why he found himself still watching the second hand slowly move around the clock with a rhythmic tick, tick, tick. His plan was ready to go and all he was waiting for was the small hand to reach the 10.

* * *

During the same three hours, Sam had tried to do anything but ponder the situation in which she now found herself. She had made her decision and was determined to stick to it. The less she thought about it the more chance she had that her will would hold. She was going to log on at the designated time that night, wish scarecrow well and tell him goodbye with as little fanfare as possible. Based upon what he had told her during one of their IM sessions in regards to his disdain for confrontation in his personal life, it should be pretty easy to do as long as her resolve held. 

She needed a distraction and she knew just the person who could provide it. She picked up the phone and pressed number three on her speed dial. As she heard the ringing on the other end of the phone, she quickly glanced at the clock on the kitchen wall, noting it was a little before 7 o'clock. After three rings a female voice answered with what she could only describe as an exasperated "Hello!".

"Hi Janet", Sam said trying to hide the amusement in her voice.

"Don't make fun of me, Sam", Dr. Janet Frasier replied. "You try telling Cassie and Teal'c that it is possible to eat healthy when you're having a "dinner and a movie" night. All they want to have is hot dogs, popcorn and soda."

"You're kidding", Sam replied in feigned indignation. Janet missed the subtlety and continued with her rant.

"Yeah! Teal'c actually had the nerve to say "Dr. Frasier, we are attempting to recreate earth's movie going experience and you are spoiling our enjoyment" ", she continued doing her best imitation of the Jaffa. By that point Sam was laughing out loud but cut herself off when an idea struck her.

"So," she began, "how about we beat them at their own game and actually live the movie going experience … really".

"You want to catch a movie tonight? Is everything ok?"

"Sure, it's just been a long day, there's nothing on TV and the idea of a movie sounds really good".

"OK. But Teal'c has to return to the base tonight before 10:30."

"That works, we can catch the early show. Should I swing by now and pick you up?"

"Sure see you soon."

Sam hung up the phone and grabbed her coat and car keys, not thinking about Jack. This should be a very good distraction, she thought as she left the house, assuring herself that thinking that didn't count towards 'thinking about Jack'.

Within fifteen minutes, Sam was waiting on Janet's front doorstep while the Doctor gave last minute instructions to the two aliens she was leaving behind in her living room. Sam made a move to step inside the house but she was quickly shooed out the door by the petite woman with the iron will. If she had taken the time to reposition herself inside the door she would have heard the final strains of Judy Garland singing "Somewhere over the rainbow". However, the taller woman knew not to argue and simply walked to her car without hearing a note.

The two women drove to the movie theatre in relative silence until Janet broke the quiet by asking "What's wrong Sam?"

Sam quickly glanced at her before returning her eyes to the road.

"Nothing's wrong. Please let's just leave it at that".

"So there is something wrong. It's that damn man again, isn't it?", asked Janet trying to keep the irritation out of her voice and failing miserably.

"Jack has nothing to do with this!", Sam retorted.

Janet just raised her eyebrows at her, the look speaking volumes.

"I never mentioned Jack, but it obviously does have something to do with him. And since when has he become Jack and not the Colonel?"

Sam stopped at the red light and took the opportunity to look directly at her friend.

"Look, right now I need to not talk about Colonel Jack O'Neill nor think about him for that matter. If and when I want to talk, if there is ever something to talk about, you know that you will be the one I go to, ok?"

"Ok. But if he hurts you the needle I find to stick in his butt will …", she paused trying to think of the correct adjective to use, shook her head and simply finished with, " … well it will hurt, that I promise you".

Sam smiled warmly at her friend. "Thanks".

And true to her word Janet didn't mention it again that night. She knew that something was bothering her friend about her Commanding Officer and just as she knew that she had feelings for him. So she steered them away from the more romantic "chick flicks" and instead insisted that they buy tickets to the latest action movie which she vehemently claimed she'd been "dying to see".

And so Sam got caught up in the plot (what plot!) and special effects and stuffed herself with two hotdogs, ketchup only, a tub of popcorn, extra butter, and a giant sized diet Pepsi. Janet knew that Sam would regret eating all that junk later but if it gave her comfort she would focus on being her friend, rather than her Doctor, for the night.

As they drove back to Janet's house, they were animated in their discussion which was less about the implausibility of the story and more about which of the two male actors was better looking. They laughed as they bantered with each other and Sam counted her blessings that she had such a good friend in her life. She pulled up outside the house and was invited to come in "to tuck Cassie in". Sam hesitated and for the first time since the movie began, she looked at the time. She flinched as she saw that the neon numbers on the dashboard blinked 9:52.

She smiled as her friend got out of the car and called after her.

"Thanks but I'm kind of tired. It's been a long day and I'm just going to head home and go to bed".

By the end of her sentence she couldn't look the other woman in the eye but her friend let the lie go.

"Ok, sleep well. And Sam …", she paused, "give me a call if you want to talk".

"I will", Sam replied quietly and as soon as the door closed, she began the short drive back to her house prepared to follow through on her plan.

* * *

**Scarecrow** – Hi Dorothy! 

**Dorothy** – Hi.

**Scarecrow **– So, whatcha wearing?

**Dorothy** – Excuse me?

**Scarecrow** – Whatcha wearing?

**Dorothy **– Are you serious?

**Scarecrow **– Yep. You used to ask me and I answered so now it's your turn.

**Dorothy** – Silk pajama bottoms and a camisole.

**Scarecrow **– Hmm – interesting. I hope you're telling me the truth.

**Dorothy** – Why?

**Scarecrow** – Cos I'm about to come over to your house.

**Dorothy** – What are you talking about? You don't know where I live!

**Scarecrow** – I believe I do and just in case I'm right, I need to tell you something now. I've never been very good with words in situations like this and I don't want to leave anything to chance.

**Scarecrow** – So just in case I can't find the words to describe how I feel tomorrow, I borrowed someone else's. I need you to listen to a song that you'll find at the end of a link that I'll send you. A young friend of mine sent it to me and now I need to send it to you.

**Scarecrow **– Will you do that for me?

**Dorothy** – Yes

**Scarecrow** – Ok. Now I'm going to log off and come to your house. I'll be there in about 5 mins. Ok?

**Dorothy** – K

Sam stared incredulously at the URL that Scarecrow had sent, waiting, in blue underlined font, in the message box on her screen. A message popped up telling her that Scarecrow was no longer online and she shook her head telling herself that he couldn't be coming to her house since he didn't know who she was. Never the less, something made her click on the link, her heart pounding while she waited for the music file to download.

It opened automatically once the download was completer and she listened closely to the words of the female singer as tears welled up in her eyes.

_She's his yellow brick road  
Leading him on  
And letting him go as far  
as she lets him go  
Going down to nowhere_

_She puts on her make-up  
The same way she did yesterday  
Hoping everything's the same  
But everything has changed_

_In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
at night_

_He wakes up to the sound  
So scared that she's leaving  
He wishes she were still  
asleep next to him  
Hoping she will change_

_In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
at night_

_You give me something to sleep to  
And all I know is  
You give me something to dream to when I'm all alone and blue  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now_

_Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now  
Don't leave me now_

_In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to at night_

Sam stared at the screen even after the song finished trying to comprehend the words that she had just heard. She was wrenched from her thoughts when she heard her doorbell ring. She walked to the front door and with one hand to her mouth, she placed the other on the door handle and began to turn it.

* * *

A/N - The song is "Something to Sleep to" by Michelle Branch. No copyright infringement was intended by the use of her lyrics in this fic. 


	19. Welcome

**Chapter 19 – Welcome**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – OK – so I've never been called "evil" as much as I have in the last few days by your reviews. I've also never had so many people ask for a cliffhanger to be resolved before they go away for the holidays when they won't have internet access. As such, here is a very short chapter just to keep you all happy for a few days.

I was going to make this one big Christmas present of a chapter but now I'm not sure if I should push aside all of my Christmas obligations to get the next chapter out. I'll wait to see what you guys think of this little one and then put pen to paper – Enjoy!

* * *

Sam opened her door to see Jack leaning nonchalantly against the door frame with his face down looking at her "Welcome" mat. She held her breath and waited. He raised his head slowly until he was looking directly into her eyes. 

"Hi Dorothy", he drawled and the breath Sam had been holding quickly escaped as an audible gasp.

"How?", Sam whispered unable to break eye contact.

"The Wizard of Oz", Jack replied in a quiet, matter of fact tone.

"Oh", she said simply, not knowing what else to say. She looked away from him and stared over his shoulder off into the distance. After what seemed to Sam like an eternity, Jack took a deep breath that stirred her from her daze.

"Yeah. There was something bugging me for the last few weeks. A piece of the puzzle that didn't quite fit. Then Teal'c said something that made me think. So I looked back at IM my profile and then Dorothy's IM profile and that's what was missing. The Wizard of Oz. And that's when everything fell into place."

He stepped closer to her and she thought that he might reach out to her as he raised his arm. But he resisted the urge to touch her and instead placed his hands in the pockets of his jeans. He rocked back on his heels and continued.

"You said it yourself. We needed to get a life. On PX3-422. I took you to mean that you needed to get a life and I needed to get a life but that wasn't it, was it? You meant what you said, exactly as you said it. We needed to get a life. Together", he said emphasizing the word "we". He hadn't taken his eyes off her during his entire monologue so he couldn't miss the smile that lit up her face and made her eyes sparkle.

"You understand?" Sam asked with a voice filled with hope. He smiled slightly and nodded. "I think so." He paused obviously trying to decide how to continue. "At first I didn't. I thought that you'd been playing me. Manipulating me. But I think I know you better than that don't I?" He looked at her with such an intense gaze that she knew he was trying to see into her soul and then broke away and shook his head.

"I think that all this time, that's what you've been trying to tell me. That you thought that we should give this a try", he motioned between them with his arm. "Out of the public glare. Just Dorothy and Scarecrow. Jack and Sam. No Colonels and no Majors. Am I right?"

Tears filled Sam's eyes as for the first time she realized that he really did understand. That he was standing on her doorstep with a complete grasp of what she wanted and what she proposed to do about it. He had figured it out and come to her with a smile on his face and, yep, a definite twinkle in his eye.

"You're right", she answered, her voice sounding more confident than she felt. "So what now?"

A smile formed on Jack's face knowing that this was his moment of ultimate decision. He could turn away now and things could go back to the way they were. Or he could take a chance at happiness. He chuckled slightly to himself, as he finally understood that there really wasn't any choice. When he thought about how much he loved her, and how long he had waited for a moment like this to present itself, no matter how it came about, he knew what he had to do.

"Now you let me into your house so that your neighbors don't talk any more than they are already doing", he said, motioning towards her neighbor's twitching curtains.

Sam took a step back from her position in her hallway pulling the door open with her. She waved her hand inviting him into the house and Jack nodded and walked inside. He closed the door behind him and leaned against the hall wall. He ran an appraising glance over her and broke into a huge grin.

"Anyway, I knew that you hadn't been lying to me in your instant messages the minute I saw you", Jack said with in a smug tone.

"You could tell from my face?", Sam asked, a quizzical look creasing her brow.

"Nope. I could tell from your silk pajama bottoms and camisole."


	20. Definitely Love

**Chapter 20 – Definitely love**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

A/N – I apologize for the wait. I got caught up with the whole Christmas thing with my family (great with 2 little girls) after surviving the NYC Transit strike. Anyway, enough excuses … Happy New Year!

* * *

Sam looked down at her appearance and let an "Oh!" escape from her lips.

"Let me go put a robe on", she said and turned to walk away. Without thinking, Jack reached out and grabbed her bare wrist.

"Don't, Sam", he cried out tightening his grip. She turned to look at him with surprise. "Please", he softly implored, eyes wide. Sam didn't try to pull away from his hold, returning his look with her own resigned expression.

"Jack we need to talk".

He shook his head, looked her in the eye and said in a tone which left no room for doubt.

"No we don't. Not tonight".

As he let the last word trail away, he gently pulled her towards him. He touched his hand to her face and marveled at the softness of her skin against his worn palm. He stroked her cheek with his thumb as he took in the expression she now wore. It was one of nervous wonder and extreme apprehension. He knew that he needed to make her feel more at ease with the situation but as was typical, his words failed him.

So he did the only thing that came to mind. He let go of the wrist he still held with his other hand, brought it up to rest on the back of her neck and used it's light pressure to move her towards him. He leaned into her and brushed his lips off hers. He was panicking inside as he awaited her reaction, bracing for her to push him away. He was so intent on his expectation that he was taken by surprise when Sam leaned into the kiss and increased the pressure exerted between them.

Jack recovered quickly and requested entry to her mouth with his tongue. Sam gave it freely and they battled for superiority as they explored each other's mouth. There were no ranks involved in their battle and the junior officer stood her ground in their duel. Just as it seemed they would run out of breath, he pulled her towards him, moving his hand from her cheek to rest on the small of her back. He moved away from her mouth for just an instant as he altered his position and both unconsciously took the opportunity to inhale deeply, their bodies knowing that in mere seconds that air would once again become a precious commodity.

Sam began to run and hands along the length of Jack's back, reveling in the firm muscles that she felt. She had been on enough missions in close quarters with him to know what he had beneath his BDU's. However, being able to reach out to touch and caress him gave her a sense of excitement that she had yet to feel in any relationship. She moved down to his waistband and tugged at his shirt, quickly removing it from it's place, giving her free reign to explore not only his smooth skin, but the waistband of his boxers.

Trying to be the perfect gentleman, Jack waited until he received this signal from Sam that she was comfortable moving things along. He moved his hand from her back downwards to rest on her bottom. It felt firm beneath her silk pajama's and as he caressed her through the material, she moaned softly against his mouth. He instinctively moved the other hand to join it's twin and cupped her cheeks pulling her towards him as he did. It was his turn to whimper now as he felt her press against his erection which strained against his jeans.

Not fully realizing what she was doing, Sam pushed Jack towards the hall wall without losing any of the connections in place between them. Once there, she moved her hands down his jeans to rest on his hips as she began to slowly rub herself against the bulge she felt against her thigh. She could feel the heat building in her center and her pajamas were becoming more moist with each pass she made.

He had waited so long for this moment, literally dreaming about it for years. However, now that he was in her grasp, being sensuously tortured by her caresses, he realized that his imagination had never done the fire that burned between them justice. He was finding it hard to breathe with the adrenaline pounding through his veins with no other outlet than the one that Sam was affording him. He was both physically hot and hard and his growing erection was becoming painful against his jean's copper buttons. He didn't want to pull away from her for fear of her coming to her senses but he needed to adjust himself if she continued to rub herself against him as she was doing.

He became aware that she had found a rhythm to her movements and his senses went into over drive. Jack knew that they were getting to the point of no return and he needed to be sure that this was what she truly wanted. He pulled away from his kisses for a moment, and leaned his head slightly back to look at her. Her cheeks were flushed and her eyes were wide and dilated, passion obvious and she growled her displeasure at being ripped from his lips.

"Sam are you sure that this is what you want?", he mumbled as she initiated another kiss. She nodded the best she could in her current position and groaned against him. "Oh … God … Yes … Jack ... I … Love … You".

And just in case he hadn't heard her, she reached her hand to his jeans and began to pop each button, one by excruciating one, using both hands. Her fingers brushed across his length as she diligently performed her task, and he shuddered at her touch. As he found relief, he felt the overwhelming need to feel her skin against his lips and he moved his mouth to her neck, placing feathery kisses along her jaw line as he moved. He found her pulse point and sucked against it gently feeling her life beneath him.

She squirmed as she became further aroused and began to stroke her hand against him through his now exposed shorts. He moved his lips, licking down her collarbone, resting on the soft voluptuous skin covered by the simple lace adorning the camisole she wore. He pushed it gently aside with his mouth and moved his hand up to kneed one breast through the fabric while his tongue worked on the other one beneath the cotton. Sam moaned in pleasure as both nipples hardened to firm peaks under his diligent ministrations and arched her back in response. Her clothes were getting in the way of his work though, and he felt for the hem of the top and gently pulled it over her head.

He was momentarily brought to a standstill as he saw what he considered to be the most perfect pair of breasts in the whole universe. They were creamy white, with darker areoles and, for him, a perfect size. He laughed internally as he remembered his Grandfather once telling him "more than a handful is a waste!".

The woman of his desires grew impatient as he stared and decided that tit for tat was in order. She reached for his shirt and quickly undid each button slipping the material off his shoulders and pushing it free of his arms. She needed to feel his naked skin against her and she quickly disposed of his t-shirt throwing it somewhere in the region of the front door.

"Oh Sam, I love you so much", he murmured into her ear as he nibbled her lobe, ensuring that she heard him clearly.

She moved her lips back to his and pulled him against her, shivering at the feel of his warm skin against her cold breasts. They became frantic in their movements unable to get enough of each other, hands moving over skin, fingers tangling in hair. And then Sam began to grind herself against him once again but this time, whatever position they were in, lead him to feel her wetness through the minimal cloth that divided them. He hissed in realization that she not only truly wanted him but that she was ready for him.

Jack leaned into her, capturing her mouth, deepening the kiss with every second. As she was mid moan, with his name leaving her lips and drowning in his mouth, he picked up her up in his arms. Without breaking the embrace he carried her easily to the bedroom and laid her gently on the bed.

And that night, Jack O'Neill made love to Samantha Carter with such tenderness that she thought her heart would break. She showed him such passion that he thought he would be burnt alive by her touch. And if anyone could have felt how well their bodies molded together, had witnessed the pleasure they gave each other or heard the intimate words whispered, they would tell you it was definitely love.

* * *

A/N – Firstly, no this isn't the end of the story. There is one chapter and an epilogue left. Secondly, please remember this is a T rated fic which is why I left this chapter where I did. Hopefully soon I will write an M rated chapter which I would post separately to fill in the blanks left in this one. Hope it didn't disappoint too much and just think - next comes the morning after the night before :-) 


	21. The morning after the night before

**Chapter 21 – The morning after the night before**

Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.

* * *

He had been on the verge of getting up to move towards the bathroom when he felt a gentle breath on his neck. The experience caused what could only be described as goose bumps to form on his arms and the hairs on the back of his neck stood on end. He felt a gentle hand touch his shoulder and out of the corner of his eye he could see delicate fingers trailing down his naked arm. They found their way to his hand and intertwined with it. 

Before he had a chance to turn, he felt her spoon up behind him. He took in the distinctly familiar smell as she pressed herself up against him. His body instinctively pressed back as a silky leg drew up from his foot to his calf, moving higher each moment. As her foot moved to his groin he let out a gasp to which a giggle was the reply. Reflexively Jack murmured, "No giggling, Major".

Oh yes! Jack knew this dream well and smiled to himself in his sleep. He could hear a woman humming, a tune he knew but couldn't quite place. As the humming continued, his subconscious began to fill in the gaps and he could hear the words that went along with the music.

"_In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
at night"_

Hold on, Jack thought, that isn't usually part of the dream. He felt a soft foot stoking his calf and thigh once again as the humming continued. He sighed at the pleasant sensations that coursed through him at the imaginary touch. He felt warmth against his ear and then a voice began to whisper.

"Jack, open your eyes."

He smiled again. Ok, he thought, I recognize that voice but if I open my eyes I'll probably wake up and the dream will be over and I really like this dream. It's a good one.

Hi thoughts were interrupted by the silky voice tempting him with every drawn out syllable.

"Jack. Wake. Up. I promise you that it'll be worth it".

Hmm, worth it? Maybe a peek? Jack slowly raised one eyelid just a little knowing it would be easy for him to just roll over and go back to sleep. And then both of his eyes went wide with shock as he tried to wake himself from the dream. She wasn't usually there when he open his eyes. In fact, she didn't normally ask him to open hi eyes. What the … ?

Sam lay beside him trying to hold back the grin which was fighting to break across her face. Her eyes sparkled as she quietly murmured, "Did you expect me to be gone?"

Jack was so dazed that he didn't know how to answer so he simultaneously nodded and shook his head which made him look like he was actually moving his head in awkward circles. Sam couldn't contain herself and began laughing. "No giggling, Major", was the only response he could think of. He drew a deep breath, paused for a moment and then asked what he knew was a stupid question but he had to ask it none the less.

"You're still here?"

"Yes, flyboy. Where did you think I would be?", Sam replied.

Jack locked confused, shrugged his shoulders and replied simply.

"Not here".

"Well since this is my bed, in my house, I figured I would stay", she countered giving him one of her mega-watt smiles. She sat up slightly leaning her chin on her elbow.

Jack sat up looking around the room, quickly realizing that it was indeed her house, it was in reality her bed and he was naked in it. He shifted to get a better look at Sam and as he moved, the sheet slipped down revealing her naked breasts.

A quiet "Oh!" slipped from his lips as the memories of the night before came hurtling back to him.

"So it wasn't a dream then?", he asked smiling shyly at her.

"Nope", she answered in a cat who ate the canary tone.

Sam could see Jack thinking the situation through, his brow creasing slightly as he did so. And then an all encompassing grin, with a touch of leer, filled his face.

"So", he started with a new air of confidence, " can we go back to where we were when you woke me up?"

She raised an eyebrow in amusement.

"You mean with my leg here, and my hand here …"

And so began the most intimate yet strangely fun, love making either had experienced. They spent as much time laughing as they did kissing, as they took their time exploring each others bodies knowing they had a late start to the off-world mission they were to undertake that day.

* * *

Later that morning, the pair sat opposite each other, having breakfast at the kitchen table. Jack had shown off his culinary skills once again, whipping up a meal of fluffy scrambled eggs, bacon and toast. Sam had made rich, aroma filled, coffee and they chatted easily as they ate, falling into a comfortable routine of domestication. 

As he sipped his coffee, head dipped low over his cup, he looked at her from beneath his lashes.

"Sam we need to talk".

"Last night you didn't want to talk", she replied with a smile.

"Yes but now we need to talk", he stated, his seriousness easily heard in his tone.

Sam sighed, gently putting down her knife and fork on the plate in front of her.

"I know", she said, resigned to the fact that he wasn't going to let it go.

Jack got up and sat in the chair beside her. He took her hand in his and whispered to her.

"Look at me."

She refused, slowly shaking her head, keeping her eyes, which were quickly filling with tears, focused on the remainder of her eggs.

"Sam, please look at me", he implored as he squeezed her hand.

She bit her lip and raised her head. As she did, the tears began to fall down her cheeks, a cascade of constant water.

"Hey! Don't cry! Look, I just want to make sure that we're on the same page. We have to go to the mountain in a couple of hours and I need to know where we stand. I need to know what this means to you."

Sam paused for a moment and then looked directly at Jack, ensuring that she made eye contact with him and whispered just one tentative word.

"Everything."

A huge grin spread across his face as the word reached his ears and it's meaning reached his heart.

"Sweet", he said and then stopped, thinking. "So we stick to the plan then?"

"The plan?", Sam asked, confused.

"Yeah the one that you came up with".

He looked at her for agreement and when she remained obviously perplexed he became incredulous.

"Your plan. You know. We keep this to ourselves. Not anything to do with the SGC. Nothing to do with SG-1. No Colonel. No Major.", he rushed the words out hoping he hadn't made a mistake.

She smiled, finally getting the drift of what he meant.

"We'll see where it goes before going public?", she asked for confirmation.

"Yep!"

"Just between Scarecrow and Dorothy?", she continued.

Jack pulled Sam gently onto his lap and kissed her sweetly, leaving no doubt of his love for her. He broke away and looked at her, smiling.

"For the moment, just between Scarecrow and Dorothy", he replied.

She nodded her agreement, even knowing that "the moment" may not be all that long with the speed at which their relationship was now moving.

Sam put her arms around Jack's neck and leaned in for another kiss.

* * *

A/N – We're just about done with just a short Epilogue to go. Please let me know what you thought … this was for some reason a tough chap to write! 

Also not as many people reviewed the last chap - you remember the "sexy" one. To those who did review, thanks a million. For those of you who didn't, I hope it was more to do with it being around New Year and less to do with the fact that it was rubbish. However since the writing of this fic is as much to do with me trying to improve my writing, rest assured, ALL reviews are welcome even if they contain constructive criticism and especially if they tell me what you thought worked well.


	22. Epilogue

**Chapter 22 – Epilogue**

**Disclaimer – Not mine, never will be etc. etc.**

* * *

General Hammond sat in his office in the depths of Cheyenne Mountain. His door was closed and the red light on the security camera was out. He had turned it off about five minutes before, just after Walter had brought him the envelope marked "Eyes Only".

He opened it tentatively, truly dreading what he would find in there. He had received a phone call earlier that day from one of the surveillance officers at the Pentagon. He'd informed the General of some strange computer traffic that had originated from the SGC. From the computer of one Colonel Jack O'Neill to be precise. The moment the superior officer had heard that part of the message, he had requested the communication be sent to him under strict security and that no one, other than the airman himself, should know of it's existence.

Hammond opened the envelope and found a single sheet of paper and what was either a compact disk or a CD ROM. He knew he could quickly find out which if he inserted it into his computer's disk drive so that's what he did.

As the drive began to whirr into life, he focused on the paper he held in his hand. He initially thought that it was the text from some kind of online conversation and this was quickly confirmed upon closer reading of the header. "Instant Message conversation between "Scarecrow" and "Dorothy" initiated by "Scarecrow" from the LAN connection in Colonel Jack O'Neill's office at 9:59pm on Monday, November 5th."

The General sat down to read the transcript just as music filled his office.

_**Scarecrow –** Hi Dorothy!_

_**Dorothy –** Hi._

_**Scarecrow –** So, whatcha wearing?_

_**Dorothy –** Excuse me?_

_**Scarecrow –** Whatcha wearing?_

_**Dorothy –** Are you serious?_

_**Scarecrow –** Yep. You used to ask me and I answered so now it's your turn._

_**Dorothy –** Silk pajama bottoms and a camisole._

_**Scarecrow –** Hmm – interesting. I hope you're telling me the truth._

_**Dorothy –** Why?_

_**Scarecrow –** Cos I'm about to come over to your house._

_**Dorothy –** What are you talking about? You don't know where I live!_

_**Scarecrow -** I believe I do and just in case I'm right, I need to tell you something now. I've never been very good with words in situations like this and I don't want to leave anything to chance._

_**Scarecrow –** So just in case I can't find the words to describe how I feel tomorrow, I borrowed someone else's. I need you to listen to a song that you'll find at the end of a link that I'll send you. A young friend of mine sent it to me and now I need to send it to you._

_**Scarecrow –** Will you do that for me?_

_**Dorothy –** Yes_

_**Scarecrow -** Ok. Now I'm going to log off and come to your house. I'll be there in about 5 mins. Ok?_

_**Dorothy –** K_

As he finished scanning the words in front of him, he smiled as he began to realize what this could mean. For the first time, he focused on the song that was playing and he listened to make out the lyrics of the chorus.

_In my mind  
Everything we did was right  
Open your eyes, I'll still be by your side  
How could I ever have been so blind?  
You give me something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to  
Something to sleep to at night_

A wry grin spread across his usually somber face as the full implications hit him. Scarecrow and Dorothy, whoever they may be, were giving it a try … at last. But since he didn't have a "Scarecrow" or a "Dorothy" under his command, he wouldn't ask, and they wouldn't have to tell. At least not until they were ready.

He removed the disk from the disk drive and placed it in his jacket pocket, knowing that it should be kept, either for posterity, or as awedding song. Thinking he needed to add another $50 to the betting pool, he fed the transcript into the paper shredder and chuckled once again.

_**The End**_

* * *

**Authors Note- To everyone who has taken this journey with me over the last five months, I thank you from the bottom of my heart. Your reviews have encouraged me, taught me and heartened me. I never thought that this story would end up over 30,000 words long … I frankly didn't know I had it in me.**

**Special thanks have to go out to a couple of fellow writers without whom this fic would never have been what it became. To Kate McCaye who encouraged me to write it in the first place. To Su Freund who's words of encouragement kept me going. To Abott of Beregost who gave my muse confidence on my more racy chaps.**

**Finally, to my husband whose patience made this all possible.**

**Now, I need to go away and write some other things for a while but I promise I'll be back with something new soon. Lynn.**


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